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Song Parodies -> "Cross Ogre 'neath Bridge"

Original Song Title:

"Cross Over the Bridge"

Original Performer:

Patti Page

Parody Song Title:

"Cross Ogre 'neath Bridge"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

If you’re a guy or, worse, a gal—
Though the portage is short—
Just don’t forget that rules above
To those below mean naught.
If you should go, make sure you start
While sweet sunlight still streams,
’cause, brother, sister, after day
Some thing will bring you screams.

Cross ogre ’neath bridge,
Cross ogre ’neath bridge,
Don’t be reckless; keep on living. . .
Cross ogre ’neath bridge.
You’ll be vittles if it finds you,
A stew repast to dine, chew.
Bother: cross ogre ’neath bridge.

Suggest you build a boat to take
You to the other side.
Make sure the boat’s sturdily built
And you’ve a rapid ride.
You’ll never reach the Promised Land—
You’re sunk, I guarantee;
The tub’s doomed. . .go down with all hands,
One of whom won’t be me.

Cross ogre ’neath bridge,
Cross ogre ’neath bridge,
Don’t be reckless; keep on living. . .
Cross ogre ’neath bridge.
Though it’s, little, I remind you. . .
A stew repast for dine, chew:
Chomper, cross ogre ’neath bridge.

So you tell me to release you
From spinning of tales tall.
And then over the span you start
At first signs of nightfall.
Halfway across you find that you’ll
Become the creature’s grub.
I listen to your feckless yells—
You should have built the tub.

Cross ogre’s on bridge,
Chomping on your rib.
It’s dissecting you, once living;
Cross ogre is nib-
ling on vittles he’s defined: you,
A stew repast to dine, chew,
Gobbled. Craw bloated ’neath bridge.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - November 15, 2010 - Report this comment
JAB - Great parody if a bit Grimm. If it was a free highway, how come there's a "troll" bridge?
UnKnownVo - November 15, 2010 - Report this comment
~ ~ G O R G E -- O N ~ ~ SirSleasy ! . . . but i do enjoy the melody of this song, Sir .
John Barry - November 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Good question. I don't gnome. UKV: gorging.

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