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Song Parodies -> "Henchmen and Pricks, ’tards, Goons, Hacks, Whores, Sleaze Crew"

Original Song Title:

"Henry the Sixth, Part 2; Act 4, Scene 2"

Original Performer:

William Shakespeare

Parody Song Title:

"Henchmen and Pricks, ’tards, Goons, Hacks, Whores, Sleaze Crew"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

A modest proposal
DICK: The first thing we do, let’s kill all the Congress!

CADE: Yes, a good thing to do. For are they not just
detestable grifters—stealing chicks and gents?
’twas P.J. O’Rourke called them a parliament
of whores. Too kind, he; a better word, “scum,”
who burden us with heavy taxes
and yet themselves pay the levy never,
or certainly pay rarely their fair share.

SMITH: And benefit from insider trading; fatten accounts.

CADE: So, mobsters.

SMITH: Yes, the fat cats’ ploys are copious.

CADE: Sphincter-kissers!

SMITH: Depredations keep us indebted, in red.

CADE: Then again, they are CONgressmen.

DICK: Yes, and every one of them, a greasy hand.

CADE: A hoggish lot they are; each one a robber
and a swine. Honor? Of that, never guilty!
They all should die. All of them fill us with disgust.
To see ’tis plain: they are to blame.

DIRK: Emanuel?

DICK: No, not Rahm, the boss of Chicago!
Though the man is a crook, too.

CADE: Not one alone is the cause of the blight. . .
this whorish coterie of women and men—
Honest, plain-dealing them?!!!!!!!

DIRK: Surly rank dogs that have been sent from hell.
With Satan these cretins have lain.

ALL: And had congress! Away with them, for
they’re disgraceful pillaging snakes.

CADE: Away with them, I say. Hang them till
these pests that infest our nest have necks stretched.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - September 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Verily, thou speakest truth. Pray, lest the henchmen of such scurvy crew should take the unto the dungeon, there to wail and gnash thy teeth ere the election day hath passed.
Smeg And The Heads - September 07, 2012 - Report this comment
This is sheer genius.

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