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Song Parodies -> "Escape (The Piña Colonic Pong)"

Original Song Title:

"Escape (The Piña Colada Song)"

Original Performer:

Rupert Holmes

Parody Song Title:

"Escape (The Piña Colonic Pong)"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Tryin’ pryin’ your nates,
You ain’t emptied for too long.
From your core, no outpouring;
Only aerated pong
From your derrière seeping,
But no T paper you shred.
A pursed sphincter at the column
Where dreck is usually shed.

If you like piña colonics
Or coffee shot up then drained;
If you’re weary of yogurt
And your innards are pained.
If you’d like baked-in fudge to take flight—
Dungal douche, bung agape,
I’ll get the sludge from that nook poured;
Shite will freely escape.

You’ve got a kink up in there, matey;
Out’s no brown; you’re turning green.
We’ll get that dry hole achy
From “waterfallin’” like you have never seen!
Then unrolling the paper
As out comes surgin’ a scad.
When you are done, you will know it:
Gland that excretes will be glad.

Let’s try a piña colonic
And coffee shot up then drained.
Wheatgrass is a fine health food
That up there can be trained.
You’re going to lose your blockage sorrow soon
And cut through all this dreck waste:
Out comes tar-like macadam,
Goose-like, dumped in great haste.

It’s abated, your thighs soaked,
But the blockage, erased.
There’s a few piles from these big lumps
That have been purged and effaced.
You’ve dumped that stone fudge that fazed ya;
It is shed, blown, run through.
We’ve fomented a movement—
Like a sled it slid through you.

Do you like piña colonics?
The fetid slot is now drained.
You were feeling the motion.
Bubbling, drained like champagne.
If you like shakin’ mud that’s in tight,
Flip that doo like an ape.
It’s a great way to outpour;
Bum is free. . .crap escape.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   18

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice job, Malcolm, but you posted it under John Barry's name. (I figure it had to be a mistake, because this is much more Malcolm Higgins' style.) This parody is necessary because, well, I know this is an obvious joke, but the original song is so full of...
Mark Scotti - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Very relieving! Well done(exclaims the buns!!)
Christie Marie M - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Did Malcolm seriously post under John Barry's name? Hmmmm...obvious. Oh, well, who cares? This is such a great parody anyways! Creative on the toilet humor! I always like to know about colonic treatments. Ode to a great relief! 5's!
Fiddlegirl - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
You've taken more than a few lexitaves lately, eh, Fiber-Con John? :)
< ! ! ! > - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
< ! ! ! >
TT @ FG and JB - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Fiddlegirl: It's just that John is a physics major instead of LA. (look up "physic" PRN).

And John, with this, I believed you've earned your B.S (bull s***), M.S. (more of the same), and Ph. D (piled higher and deeper) in physics.
AFW - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
For a good poo parody, ya' gotta' go to the John..
alvin - August 28, 2009 - Report this comment
lol...title switch of the day
The Thought Police - August 29, 2009 - Report this comment
This parody is the sh----aving cream! Not nice or clean.But necessary for three fives,it seems!
FG @ TT - August 29, 2009 - Report this comment
You just get funnier by degrees, don't you?

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