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Song Parodies -> "Aren't Seals Pretty? (from West Side Story)"

Original Song Title:

"I Feel Pretty"

Original Performer:

Bernstein/Sondheim

Parody Song Title:

"Aren't Seals Pretty? (from West Side Story)"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Rewrite of rejected "I Feel Titty"
Aren't Seals Pretty?

Aren't seals pretty?
Oh, so pretty.
Like a kitty, but out in the bight.
And I pity
Anyone who can't watch with delight.

It's alarming
That fish farming
Can be harming those so-charming seals
They're so pretty,
And it's all God's creatures' pain I feel.

Such a pretty world that He gave us; fair
To all animals should we be.
Such a pretty face,
Seals so pretty, blessed,
Such a pretty smile,
In a pretty sea.

Look! They're sunning
On sand, dancing,
They're stunning; entranced, I jump for joy.
All should love them—
Even boatmen who say, "Ahoy."

Aren't seals pretty?
Oh, so pretty.
And I hope fishers down in the Keys
Will take pity
On creatures with whom they share the sea.

It gets fizzy;
Churned and chummy—
Dizzy cetaceans stunned by sharp tines.
It's a pity
That Norway and Japan will not sign.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

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Ashkicksass - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Awww. Seals and Sea Lions are some of my favorite animals. This is lovely.
alvin rhodes - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
hell, i think seals are BEAUTIFUL....nice job...5s
Johnny D - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Earlier this year, my wife and I went on a seal-watch cruise in Rhode Island's Narragansett Bay. I gotta admit, them seals are cute little blubbery bastards!
Ashkicksass - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
You can't call a seal a bastard! Nevermind. You can. And I will giggle.
Johnny D - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't think their seal mommies and seal daddies were ever officially married by a Justice Of The Herring or a Minister Of The Mackerel......so technically, they are indeed sweet, cute, lovable little Bastards-Of-The-Sea. ;-) Ork! Ork!
Diddims - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved this! Seals are just adorable. It's so tragic that we treat animals like scum sometimes and don't take the time to appreciate them.
John Barry - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, everyone.
Mari D - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
This is weird, but even though your parody makes a serious statement, it made me laugh. I keep picturing some sailor singing this one with a sea lion chorus in the background...
Paul Robinson - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
JB - Great job. This one has my Seal of Approval. JD - That's a pretty Fishy explanation...Mari - me too, JB, you turned "smut" to "cute, but also poignant", as much as that may pain you. "Now taketh that 'Titty' ditty over to the 'Whatfreaks' site" sayeth the "Editor-in-Waiting" of that section. 5's...

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