Vittles vile, vittles vile, vittles vile,
Take haggis, e.g.,
Tripe, roast ants, broccoli,
Baked beans--make me gaseous, peas.

Vittles vile, vittles vile, vittles vile,
Rat ratatouille,
Pie stuffed with offal, meat
Laced with fat and BSE.

If you want something that tastes neat when you dine
Then no nasty chum, slimy from the brine,
No frog clogged with scum from pond.

Vittles vile, vittles vile, vittles vile,
Moldy old coffee,
Ice cream choked with toffee
Babybacks fat and greasy.

When you've got a side order that was once
Old chunks of cowhide that were transfat-plunged--
To vomitorium gone.

Vittles vile, vittles vile, vittles vile,
Roasted chimpanzee,
Trich'nosis-primed pork feet,
Baby snake, steak and kidney,
Oh, gag!
Baked eel, hake, rancid sushi,
Oh, gag!
Bailey's-basted rank turkey.
Oh, gag!