Help, I tweet my chubby,
Help, I’m a misdeeds hubby,
Help you know I need someone’s
Help!!

I have been dumber than that plumber of McCain,
And now I can see just how quickly one’s career can wane.
My salad days are gone, of that I am assured. . .
Lost my mind, I’ll try to find someone to get me cured.

Help me if you can; I have left town.
Should I seek a psych to help bring me around,
Help me get my tweets to being sound?
Someone please, please help me!

And now my life has changed because of my forays,
My dick, chick-sendin’; now I’m banished for my ways.
Down D.C. denizen, I’m feelin’ insecure;
I know that I must see the light—my thoughts have been impure.

Help me if you can; I’m feelin’ down;
It was stupid to speed those photos around.
Help me get my tweets on solid ground—
Someone please, please help me!

I have been dumber than that plumber of McCain.
I, senseless, tweeted parts of body to that cloud domain.
My sanguine days are gone, of that I am assured. . .
Lost my mind, I’ll try to find someone to get me cured

Help me if you can; my tweets were found
And then put upon the Web and spread around.
Help me keep my meat from Net renown.
Someone please, please help me, help me, help me!
D’oh!