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Song Parodies -> "Turbinado, Please"
Original Song Title:
"Turning Japanese"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Vapors
Parody Song Title:
"Turbinado, Please"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
I've got some strictures 'bout what I'll do
When I'm at luncheon and sweets ensue.
My vittles sparing. . .angst, a glycemic taboo.
The only color I'll dare is brown--
Only pure cane's what I'll have around.
I've got a sweet tooth
That wears my enamel down.
I've got some strictures; I've got restrictions.
I must restrict, sure, what is coursin' round my cells.
I need a doctor to do a stick here
So he can look up my glucose le-vels.
He'll use no tourniquet; my blood rebounds.
And terse I'm not with screaming sounds.
Just turbinado, please,
I think nice turbinado, please,
In meals and drinks, bro. . . .
No secs,
No glugs
Of wine
No Twinkies
No gum
No gin,
No hooch
Just sugar that's dark.
Everywhere around me lurks refined danger
Everywhere I look for my favorite: cane pure.
I just want turbinado, please. . . .
When I'm at luncheon and sweets ensue.
My vittles sparing. . .angst, a glycemic taboo.
The only color I'll dare is brown--
Only pure cane's what I'll have around.
I've got a sweet tooth
That wears my enamel down.
I've got some strictures; I've got restrictions.
I must restrict, sure, what is coursin' round my cells.
I need a doctor to do a stick here
So he can look up my glucose le-vels.
He'll use no tourniquet; my blood rebounds.
And terse I'm not with screaming sounds.
Just turbinado, please,
I think nice turbinado, please,
In meals and drinks, bro. . . .
No secs,
No glugs
Of wine
No Twinkies
No gum
No gin,
No hooch
Just sugar that's dark.
Everywhere around me lurks refined danger
Everywhere I look for my favorite: cane pure.
I just want turbinado, please. . . .
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sad and funny at the same time
That means cupcakes are off the list too, Sir!!
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