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Song Parodies -> "Hans Reiser"

Original Song Title:

"Cab Driver"

Original Performer:

Mills Brothers

Parody Song Title:

"Hans Reiser"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Don't know if this got much national play. . .a big deal here. This guy's wife disappeared. Evidence led the cops to him and an eventual trial, even though they found no body. They gave him a chance to plea down to manslaughter in return for divulging the body's whereabouts, but he thought he could beat the rap in court. Despite habeing no corpus, the jury came back with a first-degree murder conviction: 25 to life. He then did a plea deal of 15 to life in return for leading police to the body.
Hans Reiser drives to secluded place
(Oak-Oakland hills, Oak-Oak-Oakland hills)
Got a crazy look upon his face
(Oaf, oaf just killed; oaf, oaf, oaf just killed)
Crams the body in a crowded space
(Open hole filled, ope-open hole filled)
Hans Reiser drives off and leaves no trace
(Oaf, oaf is ill, oaf, oaf, oaf is ill)

Hans Reiser, chum in your cell block
(In San Quentin, the penal system)
Might be another wife-killer, Scott
(In San Quentin, Pete-Pete-Peterson)
Your testimony in court was a crock
(Peeve-peevin' 'em, peeve-peeve-peevin' em)
Hans Reiser dummied up. . .then talk)
(Peeps, peeps from him; peat unearthed. . .victim)

Hans Reiser did a nasty thing
(Offed, offed his wife, offed, offed, offed his wife)
First-degree verdict jury did bring
(Took, took her life, took, took, took her life)
He'd scoffed at pleas; at first he wouldn't sing
(Twenty-five-life, twenty-five to life)
Hans Reiser, that verdict sure did sting
(He took her life; now he will do life)

Hans Reiser led 'em by the score
(The place he'd dug, to the place he'd dug)
To the place he had buried his wife's corpse
(Kind of a thug; guy's kind of a thug)
But still he's not showing any remorse
(Blank look, his mug; blank look on his mug)
Hans Reiser gets a closed cell door
(Life in the jug; guy'll die in the jug)

Hans Reiser, the pen is your new home
(In San Quentin, the penal system)
You put her under a pile of loam
(Put, put her in, put, put, put her in)
But don't bend for that soap that lathers foam
(Pete-peter's in, pete-pete-peter's in)
Hans Reiser--the pen is his new home
(In San Quentin, the penile system)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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alvin - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
didn't hear the story but enjoyed your rendition of the tale
NorCAL-lips-o'Honey - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey, Captain Jack Barrow! Is your pirate ship anchored here in the SFO Bay ?? Are you hear for the Ships Festival that will sail under the ~GG Bridge ~ on the 23rd, Sir ??
John Barry - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin NorCAL (dental work on the 23rd. . .wrong bridge).
CAL-lips-O'Honey - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir, a Pirate with teeth ?? What luck! PS: Sir John B, this is a wonderful write; this got a lot of press here, although not nearly as much Scott & doomed Lacie . . . .
John Barry - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
CAL, you are a most intriguing commentator. Your occasional observations about one of my maladies have prompted me to dedicate an upcoming tune to you.
MadMaLady - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Captain Jack B, could you be referring to the malady that occurred in the computerLab at NetFRAME in Milpitas, Sir ? ~Write On ~
John Barry - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Never been to NetFRAME, Mal. Could you have me confused with another captain of industry?
AFW - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Fine story, well told
John Jenkins - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
The jury system got one right, and John Barry did an excellent job of spoofing the perpetrator. Great job of not repeating any lines!

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