Di shocked the sheriff, tellin' tales of lewd lubricity,
Di shocked the sheriff, tellin' tales of lewd lubricity.

First he frowned, then jaw dropped down,
And he wanted to jack, pound.
That kind of thinking made him feel guilty
Or think he'd be ill ocularly.
"Out of sight!" then, jocularly,
Di did say.

Di shocked the sheriff, and he contemplated self-abuse
Di shocked the sheriff with a Freud-tinged train tale about a caboose.

Sheriff always tried to act saintly,
So off he did go
To confess to his parish priest
About fevered thoughts that did grow,
About fevered thoughts that did grow
In his brain.

Di shocked the sheriff, and he contemplated self-abuse
Di shocked the sheriff with a Freud-tinged train tale about a caboose.

Priest said, "Say ten 'Hail Marys'.
You know who has come to town?
It's Diane, evil woman of ill-renown
And she's getting around,
So swat, swat your urges down!"
Next day:

Di shocked the sheriff, and he soon went beyond self-abuse
Di rocked the sheriff, shaking her tail, "Good for the gander and goose."

She-sexes got the better of him;
Soon he was doing her trim.
That would have been all very good and well,
But she didn't even own a house,
No, she didn't even own a house!
Every day:

Di boffs the sheriff, who succumbs to lewd lubricity, plenty!
Di boffs the parish, who afterward says ten 'Hail Marys." Twenty. . . !