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Song Parodies -> "Your Gut Offends"

Original Song Title:

"You've Got a Friend"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

James Taylor

Parody Song Title:

"Your Gut Offends"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

When you've downed eight doubles
Of booze cheap--well drinks like Grant's,
And rumblings are coming from inside,
Close your eyes; this drinking spree
Is way beyond dog's hair.
You might upchuck like a sea at high tide.

You just crawl like a crane
That's been lamed by hunter insane.
Chunder's running, like a baby's,
Don't heave on your friends.
Winter squash comes in a squall,
Waterfalls way down to your balls.
There's some beans there, yech, yech, yech,
Your gut offends.

Then guy some above you
Thought he'd fart; it was so loud,
But that old pork wind did much more than blow.
When his end's untethered, his colon's much endowed,
A flume soon will be loggin' out toward the floor.

You just call out in pain
As it rains down, wetting his gams.
His bum's runnin', and pee next he'll send.
Dink spring becomes waterfall;
Crawl, if you can, out of the hall
And breathe fresh air, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh.

Yeah, ain't it good to know, when your gut offends,
You're seepin' from just one hole.
You burp, spew, but don't squirt doo.
With fresh-baked rolls you will wet them
But not butt-jet them.

Then you call out the name
Of old Joe, who bartenderin';
He comes runnin' to feed you with gin.
Wimpy drinks--none for last call,
All at once to your knees you fall
And you heave there, yech, yech, yech,
Your gut offends,
You're farting,
Your butt distends--
Then it's poo you blow,
Then it's poo you blow,
Your gut offends.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
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 0
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 1
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 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

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MarthaDtox - October 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Good grief John !!!! astonishing!!!!!!
Rick D - October 22, 2005 - Report this comment
I bow to the king. Tong, Higgins, kiss your spots goodbye.
John Barry - October 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Martha, Rick!
Johnny D - October 23, 2005 - Report this comment
That's right, Rick D --- 418 more parodies, JB, only 418 more parodies...a mere 418...no more than 418...418...418...JB...only 418...418...418...you are feeling sleepy...very sleepy...very, very sleepy...yes...yes, good...good...very good...now...you cannot resist the temptation to suddenly write a batch of 418 new parodies...you cannot resist...you must do it...you must do it...do it...do it...DO IT
Hoof Hearted - October 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, this is a great parody! I bet the Decade Police are pulling out their hair now; that is, if they're reading this.
Rick D - October 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Johnny. there is a line from "Horsefeathers" where Groucho says. "I'll tell you what. Let me ask my lawyer. If he advises me to do it, I'll get a new lawyer."
Johnny D - October 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick, there is also a line from "Horsefeathers" where Groucho says, after being told he's full of whimsy, "Can you notice over there? I'm always that way after I eat radishes."
Agrimorfee - October 24, 2005 - Report this comment
This was a pantsload of fun.

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