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Song Parodies -> "You Ain’t Growin’ No Hair"

Original Song Title:

"You Ain't Goin' Nowhere"

Original Performer:

Byrds/Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"You Ain’t Growin’ No Hair"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Out of clips,
need no snips,
pate is chrome-
plated dome.
Got your mind on scintill’ shine—
you ain’t growing no hair.
’sute-free, shines up high;
got sorrow to say:
plume-clime time is done.
Boo-hoo you are gonna cry,
howl ’cause the fleece ain’t there.

I ask where
mounds of the keratin went;
mortal mane will not relent.
Looks kinda funny
with bumps and dents
where you’d once grown hair.
’sute-free, shine ’bove eye,
got sorrow to say:
maneline time is done.
Boo-hoo you are gonna cry,
howl ’cause: no fleecy fare.

Guys once hirsute
try nostrums that’s moot—
failed pates,
no shrubby shoots.
Strap yourself
like that creepy coot
with substitute fare.
’sute-free whiny guy;
got sorrow to say:
furry time is done.
Boo-hoo you are gonna cry,
howl ’cause the fleece repaired.

Club for men
prices are steep;
hair-plug things
also ain’t cheap.
Minoxidil? No frizzin’ creep—
at least you don’t get splits.
’sute-free, time to buy—
got sorrow to say—
a rug; do a Trump.
Crude dude’s thing ain’t gonna fly
off in the breezy air.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - April 10, 2015 - Report this comment
You can't go wrong with this hair parody..
Bugs - April 11, 2015 - Report this comment
What a hair-brained idea, 5s
belle - April 13, 2015 - Report this comment
The lament of most guys.....:( I really like it.

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