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Song Parodies -> "Diamonds Are This Churl’s Best Friend"

Original Song Title:

"Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend"

Original Performer:

Marilyn Monroe

Parody Song Title:

"Diamonds Are This Churl’s Best Friend"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

His Tiffany jags could be quite monumental:
Seems diamonds are this churl’s best friend.
The Tiffany [price] tags, he says, “just incidental”;
He’s a frugal man
Who’s just spending 500 grand.
Ice that’s cold
Is not what’s sold—
There’s no charm bracelets at the high end.
He bought them for her nape;
The country, he’d sure rape.
Diamonds are this churl’s best friend.

But there comes a time
When this crass guy can’t lawyer
Up about diamond-squirr’l yen;
’cause there comes a time
When a hard-boiler deployer
Of questions asks, “Ice
Is nice, yes, but you paid what price?!”
To the guy
Who wants to vie
To occupy, ’cause he’s at loose ends,
The whitest of houses.
(Are they for his spouses,
Financing for his girlfriends?)

With debt up to here,
It is rather ironic
That diamonds are this churl’s best friend.

In debt up to ears
We, yet he finds ice a tonic. . .
A president who’d spend the rent
On rocks is wrong.
His ken ain’t strong,
And straight-shooting ain’t what he’d intend.
For president, give me
Who ain’t raided Tiffany.

Try him, try him
(And hear this guy drone)?!
Diamonds are this churl’s best friend.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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2Eagle - June 08, 2011 - Report this comment
Good reply to the OS. I wonder how much money you needed to be married to Liz Taylor.
LilRockGirl - June 09, 2011 - Report this comment
~Rock On~ sirSweaty !

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