Stake me, Ron, my dough is almost gone,
stake me, Ron, a streak is coming on,
stake me, Ron, my luck is feeling strong,
stake me, Ron, I know this can’t go wrong.

Stake me, this table I am gonna rule (gonna rule)!
I’m so hot, I’m starting to drool (starting to drool).
But though I’m hot, I need to get more chips (get more chips),
because if I have a bigger pile, I can bet more chips (then bet more chips).
You know that there is little joy in chips’ paucity.
They’ll be piling up; I’ll not pauper be.

Stake me, Ron, a streak is coming on
That’s what I want; I’ll be pairs-o’ paragon.
Stake me and you’ll see a windfall percent: 20.
You’ll see—you can’t go wrong, if you will just grubstake me, Ron!

Stake me, Ron, this isn’t just a con.
Stake me, Ron, a streak I will be on

Staked me! Thank you, Ron, soon house money will be gone (will be gone);
we’ll soon celebrate with a case of Dom (case of Dom).
Because you spotted me, you’re gonna get your share (gonna get your share).

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Oh damn, the luck is now starting to trend ’gainst me—
the house ain’t paying out; departing is my treasury.

Quakes me—Ron a rampage will be on.
He’s gonna want his stake back, but it’s gone.
Crazy he will be; he’ll see it as perfidy.
And Ron is might strong—
and he might club me…brazen brawn.

Maims me, Ron, because his stake is gone.
He didn’t want to hear excuses run on.
Breaks me on his knee and slams me repeatedly.
Life support I am on—ICU
(life support I am on).
I was chums with staked-me Ron, but now
crazy Ron went POW!
I’m on drugs, with major traums!