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Song Parodies -> "“Schmuck!” Says My Spouse, “Mop!”"

Original Song Title:

"Up on the Housetop"

Original Performer:

Gene Autry

Parody Song Title:

"“Schmuck!” Says My Spouse, “Mop!”"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

“Schmuck!” says my spouse, “mop! now, because
floor’s sullied by muddy paws.
Start right this minute, and don’t make noise.
If you get it done well, I’ll rejoice!

“Go, go, go, clean the wood, schmoe.
Schmoe, schmoe, schmoe, get up and go.
Schmuck!” says my spouse, “mop, quick, quick quick!”
Don’t wait a minute, get on the stick!

“It’s looking shocking…worse, looks like hell;
don’t be slacking off, clean well.
When you are finished, get me apprised.
Do a bad job and you’ll be despised?

“Go, go, go, clean it good, schmoe.
Schmoe, schmoe, schmoe, don’t be so slow.
Putz!” says my spouse, “mop, quick, quick quick!
You are a dimwit, get on the stick!

“Me you are mocking; you’re standing still;
I’ll show you I have an iron will.
Don’t clean up now…tonight in the sack,
I will not be there and won’t be coming back.

“So, so, so, I’m gonna go,
go, go, go, go with the flow—
far from this house; stop me with this:
floor that’s clean enough to lick and kiss.”

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