-> "The Bends"
Original Song Title:
Parody Song Title:
This is the bends:
As he ascends, the bends.
Less power for his glands, the bends.
There's tingling in his hands, the bends.
Unsafe too fast to rise, the bends.
Above him, clear blue skies and friends.
A constriction when he breathes;
Air-limited lungs seethe.
Desperately in need of a chamber, land!
He's a desperate man.
[water]Logged and he's roamin', swimmin' down the drain.
The scene's a sylvan lake domain.
And he's swimmin' down the drain.
Raising will give lunger pain.
There's danger goin' so far down;
Risin' straightaway's crazy.
Bleary eyes don't watch the time.
Risin' makes his chest cavey.
Risin' shakes, risin' quakes
Him in lake; he's pained in lake, wavy.
He stays too long, several hours.
Risin' shakes bronchioles;* and his skin's cold.
His chest's bein' pressed,
His chest's bein' pressed.
Death's near; he feels its caress.
His bruised lungs are feelin' sprung,
His bruised lungs are feelin' sprung.
Diver, air's wanted in lungs.
The diver would choke in the pond, with rubber boots on.
He'd hooked a mask from his aunt named Valerie,
When it was on--downright small.
He had lots of room for his sinewed limbs
In the suit made for his big sibling brother,
Although the crotch was downright small.
He came to the lake's floor,
Up too fast he'd glide,
Farther. . .you don't have gills, dude!
Smothered, guy wants to. . .
"F**k! Ooh! This hurts! Gotta get to the surface and find a hyperbaric chamber. . ."
[string of gurgled, unintelligible expletives]
Cannot raise up too fast or he'll bust,
Can-like chamber for lungs is a must. . .
Can nitrogen-narcosis bloodlust.
He'll need a chamber fast; out he blew gusts
His blue lips are locked
On air hose, sucks
His blue lips are locked. . .
"Come on, air!
Fill, fill, fill, fill. . . ."
This is the bends;
Could mean the end.
To avoid bends,
Don't too fast ascend, friend.
You'll burst and dead you'll be;
Best in pool to loll, thus flee
The bends, blood bubbling with hot nit';
The bends--treat right or you might die.
This is the bends.
*branches of the bronchi, airways in the respiratory tract that conducts air into the lungs.
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|How Funny: ||5.0|
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|Total Votes: ||9|
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