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Song Parodies -> "If I Only Had Some Pain!"

Original Song Title:

"If I Only Had a Brain"

Original Performer:

Wizard of Oz sountrack

Parody Song Title:

"If I Only Had Some Pain!"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I'd be happy in her powers,
Beg her to strap for hours
And bind me up in chains.
And my back she'd be scratchin'
With a lash that's cross-hatchin'.
If I only had some pain!

I would ask her to belittle
Me and bask in her spittle
That covered me like rain.
The excess I'd be drinkin'.
My stretched pecs she'd be kinkin'.
If I only had some pain!

Oh, she could welt my thighs,
And I'd just ask for more.
We could do kink things, like give my trunk a score.
She'd make grovel on the floor.

She'd let me huff her muff 'n'
Then bluff me: "You get nuffin'!"
As she checked out my mane.
Then she'd mull my pate hairy,
Pull some out; it would tear me,
And I'd revel in the pain.

Then she'd say, "I'll test your mettle
By tempering some metal
And branding several parts."
As my skin was a-fumin',
She'd sprinkle on some cumin
Just to help to make it smart.

She'd be anything but gentle
When doing something dental--
Bicuspids would depart.
'Cause my maw's rather narrow,
She'd use a farming harrow
To help pull the gums apart.

To exacerbate emotion,
She'd slather me with lotion
Infused with sharp pub darts.
Then she'd get out the ripper--
Get me caught in a zipper,
And I think you know which part.

I would err and call her "missy,"
She would glare and become hissy
And seek sensitive nerves.
Then she would show her prowess,
Giving my nose a prow--yes!
As she'd bend me in a curve.

Oh, some folks would be decryin'
The pokes that we'd be tryin',
Her layin' on with verve.
She'd treat me like a lizard;
I'd entreat, as I slithered:
"Please give me what I deserve!"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 2.6
Overall Rating: 2.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - December 24, 2004 - Report this comment
funny ass parody

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