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Song Parodies -> "Avis Car"

Original Song Title:

"Drive My Car"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Avis Car"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I’m a Hertz member and only rented recently, because of geographical logistics, from the company that tries harder to give lousy customer service. This may come off as petrol petulance—and it probably is—but the circumstances are far more complicated than this parody indicates. Its story is actually fairly incidental to the true hassles. Anyway, on principle, I’ll never rent from Avis again. I hope you’ll join me in Av’oidance.
Asked the girl why they rented to me
Car that’s an anomaly—
It had no manual, no instructions seen
For how to unlock cap for benzene.

Never rent an Avis car;
They won’t treat you like a star.
Never rent an Avis car;
It’s a firm to eschew.

I told that girl that I’d not understood
How to open gas cap’s hood.
Working at feverish pitch, couldn’t find
It, and ain’t got a clairvoyant mind.

Never rent an Avis car—
They f**ked me, stuck it in far.
Never rent an Avis car,
Maybe they’ll f**k you, too.

Hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, yeah.

Never rent an Avis car;
They won’t treat you like a star.
Never rent an Avis car—
Another firm will do.

Hertz, Hertz, Hertz, Hertz, yeah.

I asked the girl if refill charge she’d waive
Or at least reduce it so some dough I could save.
Eight bucks a gallon is going to smart.
I return the car—then the gas pains start.

Never rent an Avis car
Again will I; I’ll walk far
Rather than an Avis car.
To them I say: “F**K YOU!”

Third, third finger, yeah!
Bird, bird, flinger, yeah!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - June 08, 2010 - Report this comment
To recall Avis's 1960s ad campaign, it sounds like they are still "Number Two"! Good job, john. :)
Mark Scotti - June 08, 2010 - Report this comment
I found no car on space 555! LOL
MadameDeAvies - June 09, 2010 - Report this comment
CaptainJacques oBarrow . . . remember Sir, as a 17th Century pirate, it's best that you travel aboard your very own HMS--SirSweaty !
LittleHoHerzie - June 09, 2010 - Report this comment
TRAVEL ADVISORY : Let ~HERZ~ put you in the driver seat . . . ole !! . . Ride on, SirSweaty !
UnKnownVo - June 17, 2010 - Report this comment
HeyJohn, tell us, sir . . . and how was da Ride . . .
Jonathan S. - June 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Funny work. 555
(Sorry, I'm too tired to think of any clever comments)

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