Asked the girl why they rented to me
Car that’s an anomaly—
It had no manual, no instructions seen
For how to unlock cap for benzene.

Never rent an Avis car;
They won’t treat you like a star.
Never rent an Avis car;
It’s a firm to eschew.

I told that girl that I’d not understood
How to open gas cap’s hood.
Working at feverish pitch, couldn’t find
It, and ain’t got a clairvoyant mind.

Never rent an Avis car—
They f**ked me, stuck it in far.
Never rent an Avis car,
Maybe they’ll f**k you, too.

Hurts, hurts, hurts, hurts, yeah.

Never rent an Avis car;
They won’t treat you like a star.
Never rent an Avis car—
Another firm will do.

Hertz, Hertz, Hertz, Hertz, yeah.

I asked the girl if refill charge she’d waive
Or at least reduce it so some dough I could save.
Eight bucks a gallon is going to smart.
I return the car—then the gas pains start.

Never rent an Avis car
Again will I; I’ll walk far
Rather than an Avis car.
To them I say: “F**K YOU!”

Third, third finger, yeah!
Bird, bird, flinger, yeah!!