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Song Parodies -> "It’s a District of Crooks Who’re in the Business"

Original Song Title:

"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"

Original Performer:

Johnny Mathis

Parody Song Title:

"It’s a District of Crooks Who’re in the Business"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

It’s a district of crooks who’re in the business
Of snaring the dough.
Up the nook of a fat-cat friend
A tongue will wend, and then
Turnabout’s fair play—genuflect and blow.
Take a linguistic look at “who’re” then fix it:
’postrophe no more.
When you take it away, you’ll see
The name for this coterie:
Bought and owned bunch: “whore.”

They snare a hog-lot of loot,
These piggish slatterns, coots
Who can grift better than made men.
All day they talk; all they say is a crock—
Just blown smoke from Janus in pen.
Keep hogs at bay?!
Can hardly wait for moolah from fat friends
(Can hardly wait to drool at the back end
Can hardly wait for tool up the back end)!

It is swindlers and crooks whore in this district—
’postrophe did go.
Take a look back at that hotel,[1]
That’s where it started—well,
That’s one theory about this type of ’ho’.[2]

It’s a district of crooks whore plotting griftness;
Soon their wealth will start
Accruing—how they get the bling
Is the lingual thing they bring
To that sphinctral part.

[1]One etymological explanation of “lobbyist” is that the word originated at the Willard Hotel in Washington, DC, where it was used by Ulysses S. Grant to describe the political wheelers and dealers who frequented the hotel's lobby to access Grant—who was often there to enjoy a cigar and brandy.
[2] The BBC holds that "lobbying" comes from the gathering of Members of Parliament and peers in the hallways (or lobbies) of Houses of Parliament before and after parliamentary debates.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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LilCupCake - December 20, 2011 - Report this comment
I spy rocky seas ahoy, for the HMS sirSweaty , Sir ! Keep a steady hand on that wheel, Sir BareAll ! keep the ship afloat !

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