On a dark, fervid night, Trane
Cooler blows no air.
Warm smell from my freezer,
Vile enough to curl hair.
Circuits got no resistance
That could be givin' more light.
My bed is sweaty, and the light's real dim--
Guess I'll pop out for a bite.
I ran into the doorway;
I was itchin' to yell!
No light is blinkin' on my cell.
This place was once heaven; now it's total hell.
So I lit up a candle,
I hoped would show the way
My voice rang out in the corridor,
And here's what I did bray:

"Welcome to total hell, California.
Used to love this place;
[Used to love this place]
But now, there's no space
[But now, there's no space]
It seems we're doomed in total hell, California.
Any time of year,
[Any time of year]
There's a problem here,
[There's a problem here.]"

Voters' minds termin'lly twisted
Toward some murky, crazy ends.
They got a steroid, botoxed pretty boy--
The recall's friend.
His stance? He will support hard
Choices, to get
A chance to dismember
Plans he hasn't set.

There's workers' comp stealing:
They think sham pain's no vice.
We got too many prisoners here,
Yet we put more on ice.
Legislative masturbators
Just got their pay increased.
They got me singin' Steely Dan,
Not Bob's "I Shall be Released."

Buy a fixer-upper?
Won't even get past the door.
You can't find a ramshackle place
For less that a million, four.

The taxes here bite, man,
State is happy to receive.
The saying goes: if you've bought a house,
You can't afford to leave.