-> "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Mace 3"
Original Song Title:
"I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face"
Parody Song Title:
"I've Grown Accustomed to Her Mace 3"
The Lyrics
Shake, shake, shake
I’ve grown accustomed to her mace,
every time that she bakes it in.
I’ve grown accustomed to the room
smelling like a bloom. . .
no fries around
when she’s in town;
I’m going to get a baking now;
I’m breathing out and breathing in
the aromas that emanate from the oven; I think that I get
a hint of nutmeg, sometimes used to infuse gin.
I’ll bet
that if I looked in Grossman’s book*
that would be one choice—
nutmeg, that is, not mace.
I can see her now—the mixing bowl ready to fill
with just a touch of mace—no, a whole lot more!
I can see her now, getting ready for the drill:
she is armed, raising her arm; and what’s in store:
it is very much like a water-
fall cascading from a water shed.
She puts in more than she oughta,
and the huge amount is filling me with dread
as it pours down, like the contents of a spillway.
I’m not sure if this will complement the pork,
the type of meat we are planning to serve today.
I hope excessive spice won’t tarnish the fork.
Pour Eliza, she is so spiceful—
the amount she uses is twice or thrice full.
But I do not complain; long ago I gave up the fight,
though she can still instill fear with the spice bag—
a thought that will stay with me when I take the first bite.
But now I just take it and no longer squall.
And she knows now that I haven’t got the nerve—
when she’s in mace mood, open up my mouth.
Yes, I’m a most forgiving man.
Seems I’ve forever stood; never would
make opposition and never hold a grudge—
a most forgiving man.
Some say “masochist”—they’re off track.
I ain’t exactly crawling on my knees
up to her then to intone:
“Shake the stuff all over my bone!”
Or, “I am begging you to mace me, please!!”
I am in an entropic way,
so I don’t run away.
I say, “Here goes!”
Don’t smell like rose.
I’m going to get a macing now. . .
my eating mouth is feeding in.
She’s really bakeful, this woman—
and she sure does like to get
mace into my vittles. . .
all kinds does it take.
Regret
have I? No, to make such a case
would not really be fair.
I just shrug, face the mace.
*“Grossman’s Guide to Wines, Beers, and Spirits”
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.8 | |
How Funny: | 4.5 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.7 | |
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Total Votes: | 6 |
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| | | | Pacing | | | How Funny | | | Overall Rating | |
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| 3 | | 0 | |
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| 4 | | 1 | |
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| 5 | | 5 | |
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