-> "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Mace 3"
Original Song Title:
"I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face"
Parody Song Title:
"I've Grown Accustomed to Her Mace 3"
Shake, shake, shake
I’ve grown accustomed to her mace,
every time that she bakes it in.
I’ve grown accustomed to the room
smelling like a bloom. . .
no fries around
when she’s in town;
I’m going to get a baking now;
I’m breathing out and breathing in
the aromas that emanate from the oven; I think that I get
a hint of nutmeg, sometimes used to infuse gin.
that if I looked in Grossman’s book*
that would be one choice—
nutmeg, that is, not mace.
I can see her now—the mixing bowl ready to fill
with just a touch of mace—no, a whole lot more!
I can see her now, getting ready for the drill:
she is armed, raising her arm; and what’s in store:
it is very much like a water-
fall cascading from a water shed.
She puts in more than she oughta,
and the huge amount is filling me with dread
as it pours down, like the contents of a spillway.
I’m not sure if this will complement the pork,
the type of meat we are planning to serve today.
I hope excessive spice won’t tarnish the fork.
Pour Eliza, she is so spiceful—
the amount she uses is twice or thrice full.
But I do not complain; long ago I gave up the fight,
though she can still instill fear with the spice bag—
a thought that will stay with me when I take the first bite.
But now I just take it and no longer squall.
And she knows now that I haven’t got the nerve—
when she’s in mace mood, open up my mouth.
Yes, I’m a most forgiving man.
Seems I’ve forever stood; never would
make opposition and never hold a grudge—
a most forgiving man.
Some say “masochist”—they’re off track.
I ain’t exactly crawling on my knees
up to her then to intone:
“Shake the stuff all over my bone!”
Or, “I am begging you to mace me, please!!”
I am in an entropic way,
so I don’t run away.
I say, “Here goes!”
Don’t smell like rose.
I’m going to get a macing now. . .
my eating mouth is feeding in.
She’s really bakeful, this woman—
and she sure does like to get
mace into my vittles. . .
all kinds does it take.
have I? No, to make such a case
would not really be fair.
I just shrug, face the mace.
*“Grossman’s Guide to Wines, Beers, and Spirits”
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|How Funny: ||4.5|
|Overall Rating: ||4.7|
|Total Votes: ||6|
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