Sat down on an oak 'n'
(It was burred)
Something my ass was pokin'
(It was burred)
It's oak-pokin' my bummy
(Is this log)
I'm groaning, "This ain't funny!"
(Not this log)

This oak is a poker
I can feel it on my bummy
It's a burred log

It feels like a butt prong
(I am burred)
My keister's got a strut prong
(It has been burred)
Before long I will react
(With a yowl)
I'll hoot sarcastically like
Simon Cowell
I have got to pry away this wood butt plug that's stung me
(It's a burred log)

Hey, burred log, you have rended my tail
Hey, burred log, I'd say I'm impaled
Burred log, wish you'd leave
My burr-buttressed butt alone!
Hey burred log, you're stuck in my quick
Hey burred log, at least it ain't a toothpick
Burred log, you've fettered me
At least you ain't stuck in my bone

It's up in the breach now
(I've been burred)
I'm just about to screech now
('cause it hurts)
My breeches have been rent now
(By that log)
Then one comes out the vent: POW!
(Nasty fog!)
I blew one from the breech
And I no longer beseech freedom
(From the burred log)

Hey, burred log, you're off o' my tail
On burred log I felt like I's nailed
Burred log, you have now left
My buttressed butt alone
Hey, burred log, you're out of my quick
Hey, burred log, I thought for a while you'd stick
Burred log, you fettered me
Until a big one I had blown