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Song Parodies -> "Steers Don’t Have One"

Original Song Title:

"Tears in Heaven"

Original Performer:

Eric Clapton

Parody Song Title:

"Steers Don’t Have One"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Good, they taste like game
In your craw—won’t you have some?
In life they are tame
’cause it’s gone—they don’t have one.
They once were strong;
They carried dong,
But for them it don’t belong—
Steers don’t have one.

It’s worse than a brand.
Snip if off. . .they don’t have one.
They’re gelded of gland. . .
Clip if off. . .they don’t have one
Unkind to flay it off that way.
Ow! No cows now will they lay;
Steers don’t have one.

Knife can bring you down,
Knife can rend wee-wee,
Knife can take your part,
Leave you sexless, peeved,
Very peeved!

Past the barn door
They’re going to core,
And that growth will be no more—
Steers don’t have one.

Woody can’t be gained—
Can’t be pa. . .you don’t have one.
Willie ain’t retained—
Can’t seed ma. . .you don’t have one.
Your taste ain’t strong; you’re carried on
To a table where a throng
Eats you. “Have some!”

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - February 02, 2010 - Report this comment
This steers me toward some horrible visions!! OUCH!!!
Christie Marie M - February 02, 2010 - Report this comment
You know what's weird? I was at this Carniceria (Butcher's Shop) in Newark and they did serve Beef Phalanges. When I asked what my dad what those are, he told me that I didn't want to know, but I found out right away anyways! I wouldn't want to eat those! Now that's putting circumcision to another level, well steer circumcision that is! I echo Mark's comments. 5's!
Old Man Ribber - February 02, 2010 - Report this comment
We have X-Men, so why not Ex-Bulls. ;D
LittleHoPeeved - February 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh, I see, from BeavHer to SteerHer . . . only can this be from Mr B~V~D, SenorNeueve !
Timmy1k - February 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Well this one was painful to think about but sure not full of Bull
Phil Nelson - February 02, 2010 - Report this comment
John Barry - February 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Mark, Christie, OMR, LittleHo, Timmy, Phil.

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