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Song Parodies -> "High C’lonic"

Original Song Title:

"Ironic"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Alanis Morissette

Parody Song Title:

"High C’lonic"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Old man can’t open the gate;
He’s got a blockerage, and try as he may,
It’s a backside that won’t—pardon—spray.
He can’t let go—hardened brick from what he ate.
Shit-nix fix: high c’lonic to unkink.

It’s like rain, on a wetting day,
Slicked, a greased slide, and it comes out in waves.
It ain’t cool as ice as the butthole does bake.
And whew! What lot was in there.

Clysters. . .played it safe—out it didn’t fly,
Impacted boot waste, and sphincter started to fry.
Abated, a hole-stanch plight. It won’t take flight.
He can’t display that brown; he’s clogged,
And that isn’t nice—
Shit-spritz fix: high c’lonic to unkink.

It’s like draining the dreck away—
Slicked, a greased slide, and it comes out in waves.
It ain’t cool as ice as the butthole does bake.
And whew! A whole lot was in there.

Well, shite has a bummy way of backing up in you,
So you drink a prune-juice parfait and wait for waste to take flight.
But shite has a bummy way of not coming out—then
You link with that tube that’s long
And blow water up into that place.

Then the mass unjams and it evacuates—
There’s a gross, flowing slime as a big one you take.
It’s like ten thousand spoons-
ful of castor oil ’bibed.
Like Fleeting,* but magnified, streams.
It’s not fleeting and won’t soon subside.
Yes, this is a high c’lonic that unkinks
A little too high c’lonic!
And, yeah, it REALLY unkinks!!

It’s like rain in a shedding way,
Slicked, a greased slide, and it comes out in waves;
It ain’t cool as ice: the water you intake.
Damn! Whew!! A “hole” lot was in there.
Damn! You now keep nothing in there—
And isn’t that ironic, don’t you think?

Shite has a runny way of leaking out of you,
Shite has a bum-free, runny way of cleansing you out. . .
Endless the spout.


*Fleet Enema (sodium biphosphate and sodium phosphate)

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - November 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Ah yes...the ultimate up-yours gesture. Fine job. ;D
Mark Scotti - November 05, 2010 - Report this comment
How do you spell relief C O L O N C L E A N S E!!! LOL
Wild Child JIN - November 05, 2010 - Report this comment
High C’lonic to the rescue, WHEW! ;-D 555!
Tommy Turtle - November 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Surely an iclonic parody.
UnKnownVotress - November 06, 2010 - Report this comment
for this kind of trouble, Sir Pirate Jacques de Colon . . . may I suggest a morning meal of Z O O M ; it works just as its name implies, SirSweaty !
Dr. Oliver Clozoff - November 10, 2010 - Report this comment
I do love me a good poop parody, and this here is a good poop parody. 555.
UnKnownVotrix - November 10, 2010 - Report this comment
. . . Z O O M ~ ~ O N , SirSweaty !
dennis - November 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Never had a Pinya Colonic, which is what this sounds like. I have needed to be unclogged from the Other end though, when something got stuck and I could not get anything down. That's about as much 'fun' as the need for a dynamite enema - which sounds like this. "Where's that uncorking medicine? I need a whole stinking jug of that turpentine-tasting stuff!

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