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Song Parodies -> "We’d Bitched; Blathered; ‘Bah!’e; Beefed, Bilious"

Original Song Title:

"Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Ella Fitzgerald

Parody Song Title:

"We’d Bitched; Blathered; ‘Bah!’e; Beefed, Bilious"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I’m riled again, un-mild again.
You’re with me and give me a childish yen.
We bitched; blathered; “Bah!”’d; beefed, bilious; bad guys.

Wouldn’t weep but off would creep.
After all was bleated, we wouldn’t peep.
We bitched; blathered; “Bah!”’d; beefed, bilious; asked, “Why?!”

To depart was our gambit;
we’d kibitzed scoldingly.
We’d teeth-gnashed, “You can cram it!”
We weren’t bold…fast to flee.

Our thoughts we limned,
though they were slim.
Ex post facto, vocal lights were dimmed.
We bitched; blathered; “Bah!”’d; beefed, bilious; sad guys

We emoted, then we stowed it;
at first, you were quite alarmed.
For a time, our ire, we crowed it,
but you weren’t disarmed.

After boasting was our station,
we had enough time to think:
It was time for a vacation;
off we then would slink.

We bitched a lot, like bilious tots.
Then we cooled, not supercilious-hot.
We spritzed boogers; “Bah!”’d; beefed; chill, us? In time.

We were not prim...like the hot rim
of a wheel whose tire had been wrought slim.
We bitched; blathered; “Bah!”’d; beefed, bilious; rap-style

As we’d talked, we were seething—
not at all at our best.
But after heavy breathing,
like fledglings…fled the nest.

Kvetching yen was stretching thin;
you evinced much less than a fetching grin.
We bitched; blathered; “Bah!”’d; beefed; you ill, sans smile.
Wise at last…goodbyes rapped fast/
We cut out with shut mouths; our time was past.
We bitched; blathered; “Bah!”’d; beefed, bilious; past time….

Took our shots like hot chatbots,
but then, second thoughts ’bout our plots were wrought.
We bitched; blathered; “Bah!”’d; beefed, bilious, Lam! Fly!

All our bleating: dyspeptic—
acidulous word fare.
Then we turned cataleptic…
a fast exit from there.

Our rants finished, our “damn!”s finished.
Our lambasting, teeth-gnashing, that’s finished.
We’d bitched; blathered; “Bah!”’d; beefed, bilious; bade “Bye!”








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