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Song Parodies -> "Take in No! ’mes Coming Home"

Original Song Title:

"Take Me Home Country Roads"

Original Performer:

John Denver

Parody Song Title:

"Take in No! ’mes Coming Home"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Small: dos [two], seven, pesky piddler—
sous [under] bridge found ’im expendin’ flow in river.
“Hi, l’il, troll!” Blares: “Troll, jerk, that ain’t me—
punch ya in the snout ’n’ broken it will be!”

Comfy home, shared with gnome,
screw-you! face—guy seems wrong.
Pet/vet-urge diddler, mountin’ llama,
Daisy—boned. Humpy gnome!

Called, “Be guest, please, in my house, sir.”
Liked my place; he brayed, “Sir, you’ve loose daughter,
tart and busty?” “Ain’t got one, said I.”
Nips he takes on moonshine. Beer’s copped. . .gin, my rye.

Comfy home, shared with gnome;
loots the place; crime spree on.
Pesky pilf’rer, scroungin’ manna:
pay-free loan; monied gnome.
Take in, no! ’mes, comin’ home!

I fear his roister; his hornin’ in appalls me;
he rapes the goats and binds me with my rope—darned ingrate!
I’ll dry him out then load him up when feeling’s
in the hands I’ve unroped, then he’ll pay,
à la Bates!*

Comes he home; snare the gnome,
shoot and waste. . .mighty strong’s
Wesson/Smith. Cure, mount this monster—
hair-stuffed gnome colors home.

Comfy home paired with gnome;
sur [above] fireplace [small] fry belongs.
Emptied pistol rounds in monster.
Take back home; gun the gnome.

Share with gnome—don’t!—comfy home.
Take piece, mow down, stuff creep gnome.

*Norman Bates, amateur taxidermist

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Patrick - June 23, 2015 - Report this comment
I wondered where all those garden gnomes came from. Here in Kansas we cook them, as in "Gnome on the Range".
Jonathan - June 23, 2015 - Report this comment
I had Gnome idea! 5's
Rob Arndt - June 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Like the nomenclature!!! 555!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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