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Song Parodies -> "Why, TSA?"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Village People

Parody Song Title:

"Why, TSA?"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Hung man, are you leavin’ this town?
I said, hung man, gonna zip off the ground?
I said, hung man, now your ticket you’ve found,
You may soon be quite unhappy.

Jugs ma’am, there’s a place you must go,
I said, jugs ma’am, if no photo to show;
It’s a place where they will probe your behind. . .
Many ways to have a bad time.

They’re gonna grapple gals, guys, TSA,
They’ll grapple despite your cries, TSA.
They’ve got something for men not to enjoy;
Gals will be equally annoyed.

They’re gonna grapple what pries, TSA,
They gonna grapple your pies, TSA.
Just hope that their hands are clean as they give a good feel
As they’re spouting their packaged spiel.

Hung man, they’ll be frisking freely,
I said, hung man, ’cause you won’t let ’em see
How you’re hung, man, so they’ll feel past your knee,
And they might grab hold of your thing.

Woman, you won’t be by yourself,
I said, woman, with a gal who’s no elf:
She’s quite wide there, and she pries your nay-nays—
You should have gone for the X-rays.

They’re gonna handle what pries, TSA
They gonna handle your pies, TSA.
They’ve got something for men not to enjoy;
Gals will be equally annoyed.

They’re gonna span both your thighs, TSA,
They gonna span gals and guys, TSA.
Just hope that their hands are clean as they give a good feel
As they’re spouting their packaged spiel.

Hung man, you have removed your shoes,
But it’s time now for some further abuse. . .
Be felt by men in places where your wife
Has to first ask you late at night.

You’ll be thumb-pumped, dames, wait and see
By a woman, looks like she’s once a he,
Then she’ll place there, hands on pie, then she’ll say,
Friggin' finished: “Have a nice day!”

You’ll walk off asking them, “Why, TSA,
Must you be grasping them, why, TSA?”
Which has something for men not to enjoy
Gals will be equally annoyed.

Go for the rads, then their eyes, TSA’s
Are gonna clamp on gals, guys, TSA’s.
Now, nope their hands are not gonna give you a good feel.
But you look on youtube and reel.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   14

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rod - November 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Outstanding, John, bend over and take a bow!
Patrick - November 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Wish I had somewhere to go so I could boycott the airlines. Funny song about an unfunny situation. If the economy weren't in the terlet, you wonder how many TSA'holes would quit. Actually, all the jihadis would have to do is send some volunteers to the lines and physically assault the Gropestapo agents with their fists or feet. What would the government reaction be then? Arm the morons? Pre-screen the passengers before they could be screened? The underwear bomber didn't have enough explosive to bring down the plane. His goal, or that of his "handlers" was to provoke the feds into creating the nightmare screening system we're stuck with forever. A crashed plane is forgotten tomorrow. I like your song. Like the photos of the screeners that accompany it too. I wondered where those fellows were now.
Mark Scotti - November 23, 2010 - Report this comment
This should prevent any one "bombings'...LOL
Peter Andersson - November 23, 2010 - Report this comment
TSA groping gets a lot of press over here too, but as one commentator said, if the teabaggers hadn't already sided with the terror scare restrictions they'd be over this with a fury not seen since Boston in the early days of the civil war...
Christie Marie M - November 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Wow, I can't believe I've missed all your great parodies! I could imagine the Village People having to go through TSA and get groped by those TSA guys. Yeah, there should be a video for this parody. Groped, touched, and scanned and found 3 sets of 5's from your luggage!
AFW - November 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Wraps the security mess up very well.
John Barry - November 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Rod: Thanks, but no bow!
Patrick: This just makes the delightful experience of flying even more delightful.
Mark: If only.
Peter: F**k the teabaggers.
Christie: Many thanks. I agree, a VP video to this would be pretty funny.
AFW: Thanks.
UnKnownScantress - November 23, 2010 - Report this comment
PackagedJack de HungSpiel . . . Sir, this is shameful . . . however, it does prance to the VP tune quite well . . .
WarrenB - November 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Belle - November 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Geesh! And here I thought the gropings in an e-mail were just jokes like 'You Won't see London , you won't see France, unless we see your underpants.' Or "Wanna fly? Drop fly!" They are supposed to be bumper stickers with TSA all written on them.

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