The other night, mooved to the pen,
That Airedale of mine wouldn't let me in.
Oh moos have trumped Rover (ooseta hump Rover),
Hooves have trumped Rover (whoo's that hump, Rover?)
Moo/Rover? Little dog, it's for the hooved one I yen.

They never lock the old barn door;
I stroll in; got milk to pour.
My heifer's trumped Rover (pooch is dumped, Rover),
Pooch scooted over (Pooch is gone, Rover);
Moove on diddled dog, because Bossie's my new best friend.

From doghouse I mooved to the stall,
And beneath the moon I caterwaul.
From a pack came Rover (in groop was Rover),
Taupe and fawn, Rover (hooves I fawn over).
Moose would trump rover, I'm ungoolate-undoolatin'.

I like good moosic; make modes sound
On my Moog--pooch poop there I found.
I'm mood moosic lover (moo'd moosic lover),
Toones take-off lover, I mull this over:
"Moove over Rover; pet Bossie takes over". . .butchered Jim.

She warmed me once, she warmed me twice;
The milk and me both need some ice.
Cook's slicin' up Rover (I'm foreshadower),
Since he took over (moot point now, Rover):
I booted pooch Rover; foot groomed in shoo, smooth calfskin.

I now risk hoof and moouth disease;
Least I won't be gettin' fleas.
Scratchin's all over (cooties had Rover),
Plague is all over (Boobonic's over).
PETA-preachin' vegans want no prions moovin' in.

I once was a stoodent of lit,
Now I study her tail flit;
Now moos have trumped opus (too long, copious);
Ooseta read Homer (too -otic, homoer-).
Dickens mooves me now; my fave tale "Our Mootual Friend."

I tried to learn that German tongue;
By the syntax I was hung.
Koo hat getrumpft Rover* (boost that verb over),
Moove the word order (moove the verb over). . .
Would say in Moonich, 'cept the "getrumpft" mooves to the end.

Tried Spanish but had to relent--
Udders needed emoollient:
Bag balm for my bov'ner (smooth it all over).
Then feast on clover (soon, feast is Rover).
Moochas gracias, Rover, el vaquer"O"'s**moovin' in.
(Perdon, perro, pero no es noomero oono--fin!)

I love that cheese "La Vache Qui Rit";
Moore I love my vache au lit:
Adioo, troo de Rover (coop de grâce, Rover),
Oo se troove Rover? (Je m'en foo de Rover);
Va te faire footre, Rover, je me cooche là-dedans.***

I tipped my cap, uh, then to Greek;
There's a tongue I just can't speak,
No, not an iota. Oils of omega
I get from gamma globs, pie and lamb; da
Food's good; but da alphabet, uh, quit at moo, my friend.

I never watch "The Simpsons" now,
'cause Bart says, "Don't have a cow!"
I'm mooving on over (moovin' from Homer)
To shows that's over (find reruns-shower)
To "Green Acres" and to that shooed-hooves stooge, "Mr. Ed."

They round the bags in spring training,
But now her bags need draining.
Read cover to cover 'bout needle shovers.
I'm a sports-lover; he ripped the cover
Of cowhide off, my favorite player: Mookie Wilson.

I now got milk of bovine kind-
ness, and I got MILF**** that's kine.
I'm a moo joose toaster (cook now has Rover);
Good food makes Rover (moosing on hors d'ouevre):
Pooch-pooch platter, soop, sooflé, dogg foo yung--mooch, digg in.


*Kuh hat Rover getrumpft (Cow has trumped Rover)
**vaquero: cowboy. Perdon, perro, pero no es numero uno--fin! (Pardon, me, Rover, but you're not number one--it's over!)
***The Laughing Cow, a brand of processed cheese products launched in France as La vache qui rit. lit: bed. Adieu trou de Rover (Goodbye, hole of Rover). Où se trouve Rover? (Where's Rover?). Je m'en fous de Rover (I'm tired of Rover). Va te faire foutre, Rover, je me couche là-dedans (F### off, Rover, I'm shacked up in there).
****mooer I'd love to f###