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Song Parodies -> "Love Poachin', but There's Fines"

Original Song Title:

"Love Potion Number Nine"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Love Poachin', but There's Fines"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I got a double-barrel and I shoot
At every living thing, like owls that hoot.
This beats a gat when you wanna down some kine,
Turkeys with a wattle, strut.
Love poachin', but there's fines.

I strolled out one day and I shot a chick.
Tonight I'll eat it and have bones to pick,
And I'll cook that swan that I wasted with my nine-millimeter pistol, 'cause
Glock poachin's also fine.

I bent down and turned around 'cause I saw a skink;
I steadied, then I wasted it, right after a mink
I belted down some tepid wine, then gin did I drink--
A heady nose, an herbal prize--I'm in the pink.

I'm gonna blow away what's in my sight:
A little kitten, pink nose, fluffy white.
But when I hit that cop, I incurred more than a fine.
He broke my pistol, shotgun and
Lugged po' me in for crime.

[judge soliloquy]

I'm held in court, then no surprise: I'm in the clink.

I can't yell here, 'cause no one hears my plight.
They started kissin' every corp'ral site.
The kissin' finally stops; then they're courtin' with the pine.
I'm thrown in where the cons dwell; thugs
Love pokin' 'neath my spine,
Love pokin' 9 to 9,
Love pokin' like I'm guy-uy-uy-uy-gyne.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan Hall - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Fooled me twice! I was sure this was going to be either yet another Spitzer fit or a Cheney blast, but noooo ... and I'm betting $555 it's funnier than either'd've been. :-)
alvin - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
lmao...this one is gonna be running through my mind all day
John Barry - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stan, Alvin.
UnKnownPO - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey . . . CowPoke, just how do you go from Pork to Poke ?? This is madness!! Have the ShamRocks o'the ~Emerald Isle~ got you, Laddie??
Invisible Boy - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank goodness this wasn't about Spitzer. Extra credit for using the word "skink". I'm just glad the everything worked out for you in the end...
Jason - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Lol, the title was worth 5s alone. 555
Michael Pacholek - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Yet another person who thought it would be a Spitzer parody. Oh well, here's your fives anyway.
Guy - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
You poached everthing but an egg here sir John. I rellly liked this. Well done indeed. Hope they are not being too awfully "stern" with you.
Jonathan S. - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
It's rabbit season! Duck season!...Barry season! 545
Meriadoc - November 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Skink, mink, clink - this was great!

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