He was mad 'cause he saw me kiss his sweet.
So he threw the gauntlet down at my feet.
He told me that I had a lot of gall.
And he told me that his second would come to call.

Just kissed his girl!
He's a head case; I want no part
Of trying to shoot at his heart.
Made a big deal of glovin' me. . .
I think I'll make a slow run.
My second has got no gun.

I am not going to try to shoot this guy down.
If I missed he would get a free round.
He thinks that his lover is worth a duel.
I'm hitting the road--I am no fool.

On heels I twirl.
I've made my case; I will depart.
I want to get a headstart.
So my heels are shoving me
In a forward motion.
I'm heading for the ocean.

So I start amblin' quickly down the street.
And as I walk, whom do I chance to meet?
He tells me I'm a lizard and I crawl.
He's right, and I'll leave my second to take the fall.

Run like a squirrel!
My second could go to Wal-Mart
And quickly learn firearms art.
Oh, but no one will be pluggin' me;
Getting shot is no fun.
My second will also run.