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Song Parodies -> "Gal Gave Shiner 'cause I'm Boorish"

Original Song Title:

"Carolina in the Morning"

Original Performer:

Ella Fitzgerald

Parody Song Title:

"Gal Gave Shiner 'cause I'm Boorish"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Fishing is good time wasted,
Like chasing rabbits to slay,
Wishing for meat that's tasted
At lunchtime, my forte.
Baby, so please start a-dishing
Me some--that's your mission today.

Nothing could be finer than some eating in a diner--
Never boring.
Nothing could be sweeter than a treat of some lunch meat--
Stirs spirits soaring.
Gimme pork that processed. . .
What I'm waiting for
My tastes haven't progressed
Beyond baloney. . .more!

You must have some, surely.
"Hey, don't call me Shirley, churl, see,
My name's Doris.
Bud, you'd better button up yer lip;
You'd best be shuttin' up. . .'cl!tor!s'
Is the word with which my name rhymes,
But there's no way
You should utter it; and never say:
'Nothing could be finer than to be in a v@g!n@
When it's mornish!"

I look at her and say, "Fine,
I'm here for the buffet.
I come here at daytime
For lunch meat, not soufflé.
I'm not here 'monsiker' scheming,"
I accidentally say.

Suff'ring in the diner am I from the beating; shiner
Hurts me. . .soring.
She says, "Please retreat, sir, beat yer feet 'r meet yer maker!"
I'm exploring
The path to the egress,
I.e., the door.
I must take a recess
And go to a drugstore.

I'm afraid she'll hurl me out;
She is a burly girlie,
Sure is Doris.
I sure should be shuttin' up, but I suggest her muttonchops
Look Moorish.
I just mean the cut of meat
On blue plate today,
She thinks I mean her facial display.
Slugs me. . .'nother shiner; and the beating wasn't minor
'cause I'm boorish.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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alvin - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
splendid little dialogue in this
UnKnownVO - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Pirate Jack, my mission today?? . . . Is to keep at Bay !!!!
UnKnownVO-2 - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
sorrry, My mission today is to keep that vile ~Lunch-Meat~ at bay ! OK???
BeYondBaloney - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir, . . . your tastes have NOT progressed beyond Baloney ? ! What a boar!!!
John Barry - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin and UKV manifestations.
Stan Hall - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
You are one lunchmeat lovin' dude, JB. :-)
I've an unsubmitted oldie left over from college days that uses this tune to elaborate on just why nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina morning, noon, and night, but tamer ones (e. g., recently submitted "Born Too Late"/"Porn at 8:00") rejections convince me it'd never fly past the censors. Anyway, 5s for a fun spoof that reminds me of the erstwhile Penn's in Canton, MS, home of the best fried catfish--not to mention the best fried dill pickle slices--anyone ever ate. Sigh. :-)
AFW - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
A meaty treat

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