In my garden Akita’s dumping:
It’s a gross and a plump poo.
In my garden’s a feces lumping
from a doggie; this ought be taboo.
Oh how it clumps on the shoe where I stand.
Oh how I’d love to see this mutt be banned
from my grassland.

In the garden you see me “h’rumphing!”
at this loathsome and plump doo.
In the garden you’ll see me pumping
shells of a monster gauge into
the hole whose vacancy won’t longer stand.
This gross mess makin’ me exclaim: “Goddam!”
Make that, “Dog damned!”

In the garden comes he for dumping;
got my pump shotgun aimed true.
To the chamber a shell I’s pumping;
as he goes, up blows smoke tinged with blue.

A hole, a vacancy, where once was can.
I stroll complacently over my land;
his butt’s trepanned.