I want some new duds,
Ones that will make me chic,
One that won’t clash with my new car,
Or prompt prêt-à-porter pique.

I want some new duds,
Like a shirt with a thread
Count that is very, very high,
Won’t make me look inbred.

Ones that won’t make me nerdy,
Wondering if my shoes
Complement my cummerbund, mixing reds with blues.

I want some new duds,
Ones that give chills,
Ones that don’t cost too much,
But still they will thrill.

I want some new duds,
Ones that aren’t too outré,
Ones that don’t fit me way too tight
So I really freely sashay.

Ones that will make me purty.
“Whatcha mean? You’re a dude!”
Commentary from my buds who think this view’s skewed,
Who view this view as skewed,
They don’t like my ’tude. . .raiment.

I want some new duds,
Ones that bring out
My best features, not cost too much
And cause a wallet rout.

Ones that are shirt-, not skirt-y,
Wonderful and with ’tude,
Ones not too conservative, but also not lewd. . .
Raiment that ain’t rude.