Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "I Am a Hairy Mammal—No Model of Modern Sapiens"

Original Song Title:

"I Am the Very Model of the Modern Major General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I Am a Hairy Mammal—No Model of Modern Sapiens"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I am a hairy mammal—no model of modern sapiens
My knuckles drag with my bucks bag; from lugging swag, great shape I’m in
If raped a gal shuts down, says pal o’ mine, quack obstetrici-an
Nope, there’s no hope; mope; I’m a dope, a wacko politici-an

From my mouth, shit; I’m out of it; my blowvations [sic] emphatical
My views are so extreme they go the range: insane to radical
To say the least I do not feast on reading of a lot o’ news
So every day, those who can pay—it’s only they who’ve sought my views

In every way I do and say bidding of those who’ve bought my views

That I can speak or even seek the clubhouse is miraculous
Folks are too kind when they unwind and I’m dubbed “louse,” “mere sack of pus”
In short, in matters sapiens, I ain’t made it past simian
I fling my turds, barely use words; the House is letting chimps be in

In short, in matters sapiens, I’m a schmuck stuck sub-simian
You’ve heard my words, they’re for the birds; the House is letting chimps be in

Some say my brain is hard terrain, but such mocks are unfair to rocks
I cannot grok that when I talk. . .schlock crock chock-full of paradox
I change my views each day anew—it ain’t that any crap you missed
I am so full of blatant bull, I should be labeled “fabulist”

Sweet chicks I tweet pix of my meat; not fixed on clothes, I’m doffin’ these
I’m no cupid; I’m so stupid—but be stopping the scoffin’, please?!
The SuperPAC at my ass crack is disgorging the swag galore
They pay me more than I can store; I encore as a bagman whore

They pay me for the bills they score; that’s my chore, act as bagman whore

Like any pol, my views are all over the place, not uniform
In fantasy I’m a steepee. . .believe in wraiths and unicorns
In short, in matters sapiens, I ain’t made it past simian
Floor votes I miss; it’s come to this: the House is letting chimps be in

In short, in matters sapiens, I am a sadly dim bein’
I shriek and hiss; on Floor I piss; the House is wet from chimps peein’

As each day dawns, a new day’s cons and braying brain-fart cavilin’
Open my trap and start to yap—lies at once start unravelin’
Many have said: “non compos head atop a noxious, scary rat”
They ridicule me as a fool, but my coffers are very fat

The NRA, big bucks they pay for me to plump for gunnery
At LEAST one gun for everyone, even nuns in a nunnery
Corporations are not nations, but they’re people, hoots fat Tony
It is unions that are munificent, and their loot fattens me

Give me big bills, I’ll do big shills; I pillage and I’m slatternly

Went to college but no knowledge I gather of this century
Theocracy I’ve sought, for me Cotton Mather should mentor be
In short, in matters sapiens, I ain’t made it past simian
We waste your time, we waste your dimes; our monkeyshines: Olympian

In short, in matters sapiens, I am reverse Darwinian
But voters still, with motor skills, pulled levers and thar’s chimp me in!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

lifeliver - September 06, 2012 - Report this comment
A tour de force - the very model of a modern major parodist. Some really clever rhyming, so many great lines here, and I like your quasi-anarchistic standpoint. Outstanding - 666.
Nite Owl - September 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Laughed at "nuns' line! But wouldn't NRA for nuns stand for National Ruler Association?
Patrick - September 06, 2012 - Report this comment
I could picture the House floor (wet and slippery) as I read your verses. An outstanding take on our political processes. Last I heard, Todd Akins was leading Claire McCaskill in the Missouri Senate race. I hope he wins.
glen s - October 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Bit late to this party but great work here. Nice job squeezing about double the normal rhymes out of this one.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertsullivan139.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1151