Runnin to-and-fro, just a jerk at the mall,
Blaze a trail, there's a sale, I lunge till bought it all.
Too much junk at Christmas, too much junk gives blissness,
Too much junk at Christmas; for treats I'll shell out forthwith.

Salesman talkin' to me, he says, "Ain't this honey sleek"?!
Says you can buy now; interest I will delay till next week!" Yeah!
Too much junk at Christmas, too much junk on wish list,
Too much bunk at Christmas: forty shops give me sales pitch.

Bond's got new look, all these guys got me hooked,
So Jims I'll carry to my home, I'm weighed down, still I look.
Too much junk at Christmas, too much junk in disc set,
Too much junk at Christmas: forty new festive Bond flicks.

Santa has a sleigh, need not schlep close to Yule,
I could use a large freight train; I obsess on gifts and drool. Ahhh!
Too much junk at Christmas, too much junk--back discs bent,
Too much junk at Christmas: forty clicks I slog with gifts.

Take gnome, thing for lawn--I'm wrong, it's a troll,
Bought a suit and some hops for brewing up some ale. Burp!
Too much junk at Christmas, too much drunk at Christmas,
Suit has shrunk at Christmas: forty's my size; the togs fit.

But for clothes of glamour, I'm fightin', in a store
For some pumps, for a gown, for a robe, for a bra. "Pa??!!"
Too much junk at Christmas, too much drunk at Christmas,
Two bumps stuffed at Christmas: forty-two cups, a snug fit.

Go to food-court filling station, chew biomass,
Mighty wind blows, I retire, diners roiled--haulin' ass.
Too much junk food ingest; leguminous incense,
Too much funk for din guests; for beans they got a strong whiff.

Too much rump scent even for me!!!