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Song Parodies -> "Jests Wrong"

Original Song Title:

"Jets Song"

Original Performer:

West Side Story soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"Jests Wrong"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

When you’ve a jest,
you start jesting away.
But jesters can be pests…
depends on what they say.

You may have guessed
that you should have a plan.
You should not just spout out
something wrong with élan!

Watch what you intone;
list’ners should be respected
They might moan and groan…
you’ll be inspected,
maybe rejected.

Don’t be a pest,
making jests so outré…
a bad way to arrest
attention in the fray.
When you make jests,
just stay your best.

When you make jests,
you should never look down
on your assembled guests,
’cause that could make them frown.

When you make jests,
your audience is king.
Be careful not to rant,
because ranting can sting.

A jest, let’s be clear,
should never hurt or sicken,
so do not smear, jeer—
because pulses could quicken—
you’d take a lickin’.

Jeer not in jests,
make them funny as hell.
But there’s no need to bray—
likewise, no need to yell.

Smear not in jests,
whether in- or outside.
OK to be a clown,
but not the Phoenix kind.

That’s all I advise.
Now, get on with the ribbin’.
A wise guy’s your guise,
but minimize the fibbin’;
do some ad libbin’.

Here come your jests;
they’ll be a funny treat.
But no “slut”s and no “skank”s
should you ever repeat.

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