Robbin’-the-downtown filchin’ spree—
knock of fat Salvation pots.
Scoffin’ up coins, even pennies…
you’d be surprised, I get lots.
Robbin’-the-downtown filchin’ spree—
it’s a Christmas-season thing.
Later some goodies I will buy
with all this ill-gotten bling.

You will hear bell-ringers squealin’
at this time of year.
Voices bitchin’, “That wretch robbed me!”
Others, more subdued, are sobby.

Robbin’ downtown: pickpocket spree:
It’s a cash-steal holiday.
Folks here should act more warily,
or their loot’s taken away.

You should fear my fingers feelin’
in your pockets; clear
will they be of all your dollars;
then you’re gonna bawl and holler.

Robbin’ downtown brings misery
to the folks who walk my way—
and I’m walkin’ ’round airily.
It ain’t true that crime don’t pay!