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Song Parodies -> "Wax Man"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Wax Man"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Glum, mute, geek, bore, mum dude.

My mien’s yellow-brown, slick, sickly;
I’m stuck here in this gallery,
’cause I’m a wax man,
Yeah, I’m a wax man.

A silent gent, I never squall—
I’m paraffin, you will recall.
I am a wax man,
Paraffin wax man.

I am kind of hard, unless there’s heat;
Should a fire me crisp, I would retreat,
So please keep it cold, then I’m complete,
Else I’ll melt and shrink from head to feet. . .
Wax man!

[Bic-harm solo]

’cause I’m a wax man,
Please don’t be lax, man!

Don’t ask me questions; I can’t roar
(Uh, huh, I’m a still man)
Out answers—I’m kind of a bore
(No tongue behind teeth)

’cause I’m a wax man. . .
Wear-slacks-of-flax man.

I’m kind of shy—I never cry,
Wax man.
The stare is pensive, from fake eyes,
Wax man

’cause I’m a wax man. . .
A wane-from-match man

And I’m worthless at faux bonhomie.
Wax man.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Timmy1000 - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I'll try to keep the heat down, but give you 5's for this one.
metaphorsbwithu - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
A tip to wax appliers. Never apply wax on a windy day, and never use a fan to help it dry faster or your wax will run and look very unhappy. 555 for unique perspective.
Christie Marie M - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm waxed out with your awesome satire! I can use a wax man myself, but I'll have to be careful and responsible with him! Waxing you 3 set's of 5's!
Andy Primus - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
It's not worth asking him questions. His ears are so full of wax that he wouldn't hear them.

PS The 4's were already on when I arrived & judging by the other 3 comments it looks like it was a mistake.
Madame TTussaud - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Yeah, but you should see it when he wax off. 555

Andy Primus: It *is* possible to vote without commenting, although mis-clicks do happen as well. Since the 444 wasn't accompanied by any reasons for docking points, I'm sure that John won't lose any sleep over it.
Andy Primus @ Madame TT - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I thought it was a mistake rather than someone else voting but not commenting. There were 3 comments giving 555 but only 2 X 555 scores & the 444.
metaphorsbwithu - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I love playing detective. Actually, the 444 was up when I commented. Having seen some odd scores before, I assumed it was a mistake by someone who hadn't commented since there was only one comment before mine. Now I see there are 2 sets of 444's though so who knows? Now that I think of it, I'm not sure I even registered my 555. Let me check ... Voila! There it is. Too bad there's not an edit feature. I goofed yesterday in submitting a parody before it was fully edited. :-P
Andy Primus - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Meta - you solved it (I assumed the 3 votes were from the 3 comments). Odd to have two people both voting 444.
Fiddlegirl - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
"We all live with the waxy figurines"... LOL @ M. TTussaud :D
blackjack21 - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Waxing eloquently once again.
TJC - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Interesting, as always! I'll have TT & Guy hack me a way to vote 666 to make up for those 4's
Lionel Mertens - September 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I melted with laughter. 5's
alvin - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
no one can hold a candle to you
John Barry - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Timmy, Met, CMM, Andy, MT, FG, Blackjack, TJC, Lionel, Alvin.

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