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Song Parodies -> "L-U-N-CH"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Nat King Cole

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

L is for that luscious cookery,
U’s for ungulates that once ran free,
N’s for nary, nary anything not scary,
CH is found in chor-izo, a treat that I adore so. . .

“Lunch” is one word in a term with two;
Lunch meat’s something I’ll chew, not eschew.
Two in “lunch meat”—taste it;
Wastes the heart, you need not baste it.
Lunch meat’s made. . .don’t want to view.

(Luncheon interlude)

L’s for how I lumber when I eat,
U’s for unctuousness in this treat,
N’s for nary, nary nutrition—be wary,
CH is for hot chor-izo, a meat; I’ll have some more, oh. . .

Lunch meat makes some squirm, but me exclude;
Lunch meat I’ll eat till my pores exude
Goo like suet, pasty,
Tasty parts stuffed in gut casings,
Lunch meat’s not a wholesome food,
But a whole lot I’ll have chewed,
Gut will soon start to protrude.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Andria - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I personally like bologna, hard salami, mortadella, pastrami, liverwurst and any kind of ham that actually looks like slices of a ham and not a pink, gelatinous brick, and I liked this parody, too. For the record, chorizo is pretty good as well.
Fiddlegirl - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
555 "weenie whistles" for you :)
Old Man Ribber - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks for this feast, John? May I have seconds? ;D
Mark Scotti - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
I read half of this, got hungry and had to eat, then finished reading it, and NOW I want dessert! Foodalicious!
UnchyWunchy - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Pirate Jack . . . just what are you doing to the fine memory of this lovely Kamelot Song, SirSweaty ? ? ?
Christie Marie M - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Sure made me wish it's lunchtime. When I was working, I would either bring a sandwich, or those Lean Cuisines. But I also love to order Take-Out Chinese food for lunch as well. When I worked in Jersey City, there's many selection of restaurants where I can eat. Take 5 sandwiches, 5 cookies, and 5 juices for lunch!
AFW - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Fine lunch skrunch to one of my favorite "Nat" songs
alvin - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment
MIKE - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment

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