Took the fast train to darkville,
Met a man with aberrations:
Thoughts are dark as well as dirty;
Causes Guy[1] much consternation.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
No, no, no, no!!

His name’s Bruno[2]; he’s not boring;
Wants to see his father dead.
He suggests they work together
In a lethal tête-à-tête.
And Guy says, “Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, Bruno!
No, no, BruNO!!
It’s quite clear that Bruno should be in a home.

It’s a bad brain, with dark-kill
Thoughts in muddled cogitation
And a misperception about Mrs.
Haines[3], waiting for separation
From her beau.
Bruno takes boat,
Garrotes her throat.

[sounds of strangulation]

It’s a bad brain that harks till
Guy will free him from the drone
Of his nosy old father, but Bruno’s station is:
Atone,
And he’s laid low; the merry-go-round don’t go slow
He gives up the ghost, then Guy is free to roam.


[1]Haines, as played by Farley Granger (Phillip Morgan in “Rope”)
[2]Antony, as played by Robert Walker, a charming psycho, who meets Haines on a train and suggests the two swap murders: Bruno wants his father killed and offers to kill Haines’ estranged wife in return. Bruno goes through with his murder, but the great merrygoround-mandala turns.
[3]Miriam Haines, as played by Casey Rogers. Guy plans to leave her for Anne Morton (Ruth Roman), whose father is the ever present Leo G. Carroll, who has a colleague named Professor Collins, played by John B.