My damn contractor has left me with a crappy mess.
All that talk he gave me was just a con job, I guess.
This wall looks like it's chewed, I've got to get my caulking gun.
I'm screwed by this fiend; he was workin' for me, but now he's on the run.

CHORUS:
Caulkin' flawed work on the wall,
And he botched it in the hall.
I think he is Satan's spawn; the deck just fell on the lawn.
I get sicker yet when I see what this man can do:
He used jelly instead of wood glue.

I slice my foot on nails protruding; they weren't pounded down.
It looks like either stigmata or really fresh ground round.
I stand next to a wall and feel a tingle in my spine.
And realize I'm jolted by an exposed power line.

CHORUS

If you could see me, you would say that my hair looks a fright.
Elsa Lanchester* has got nothing on me tonight.
I put steel-toed shoes upon my blood-encrusted feet
And walk back to the sagging room to check the cracked concrete.

CHORUS