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Song Parodies -> "I Want to Host Your Hand"

Original Song Title:

"I Want to Hold Your Hand"

Original Performer:

Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"I Want to Host Your Hand"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Oh yeah, I've swelled huge plump thing--
Not thin, my pumper gland.
Not I plays that pump thing;
I want to host your hand,
I want to host your hand,
I want to hose your hand.

Oh squeeze--play with me;
You'll flex my hood of man.
Don't tease--placate me;
Pet while I host your hand.
Endowment hosts your hand,
I want to host your hand.

And when you touch me,
I feel sap seethe inside.
It needs releasing, and I love
That hand slide, that hand glide, that hand ride.

Yeah, you've got it pumping--
Thicken my thunder gland.
A lake you'll be sumping
As my grow nads expand,
Having hosted your hand,
Having hose in your hand.

Now I debouch it,
All that sap seethed inside.
A spunky feeling. . .down your thumb
It will glide, from inside, to outside.

I'm soon done with pumping;
I think it's slumber gland.
But you feel that slumped thing--
Again I host your hand.
Twice will I host your hand,
Twice wanked, my hose more stands,
Twice wanked, I host your hand.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

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alvin - June 27, 2008 - Report this comment
feeling pumped up after that
Seaman Stanes - June 27, 2008 - Report this comment
This reminds me of my old navy days aboard ship. Life onboard ship got to be quite boring, so we played Army. I always played the role of Private Parts.
Guy - June 27, 2008 - Report this comment
John - This is dancing on the censor line. Hope it wasn't too hard on you getting it by the censor. To be honest with you - It's a bit TMI for me, but I'll give - not hand, you fives. I'll leave that handing chore to Ms. Rosey Palm and her 5 sisters.
UnKnownVotrix - June 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Careful, Captain Jack Barrow, your mast is falling . . . .
Meriadoc - June 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Eeek! I thought it was going to be about a poker tournament...

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