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Song Parodies -> "Bold, Ranked Wine"

Original Song Title:

"Auld Lang Syne"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Bold, Ranked Wine"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I hope the bottle opens up
to a vintage that’s fine.
So let’s open the bottle up…
see what we find.

A bold, ranked wine, my dear,
an old-tank wine.
Let’s open up this wine that’s set
down a long time.

But first we’ll let it open up…
release flavors refined.
post-opening this wine that whets
our nose-rank time.

A bold, ranked wine, so clear
a gold-ranked wine.
We’ll open up this wine that rests
a whole long time.

I’ll pour it down vitreous slopes…
covet colors sublime.
I won’t drip it upon my foot—
my hand is fine

A bold, ranked wine we’ll cheer
a bold, ranked wine.
’twill open up and will be met
by nose-rank rhin.

Those dark red rivulets will stream
down crystal that will shine.
I guarantee you’ll not be bored
by bold, ranked wine.

A bold, ranked, no fear,
a gold-ranked wine.
’twill open up and then be sent
down throats damn dry.

The cork is out, and I upend
the bottle, and we find
that I truly did get the shaft
at dough-hand time.

An old, dank wine we’ve here,
a faux-ranked wine.
I paid a lot and what’d I get?
A mold-rank wine!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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TJC - January 01, 2020 - Report this comment
Great legs--Tippler fives for thee!
Agrimorfee - January 02, 2020 - Report this comment
Vintage Barry!

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