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Song Parodies -> "I Am Quite Crapulent and Pinch a Snort"

Original Song Title:

"I Am the Captain of the Pinafore"

Original Performer:

Gilbert and Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I Am Quite Crapulent and Pinch a Snort"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Pimm's: brand of gin-based beverage. CC: Canadian Club whiskey.
I am quite crapulent and pinch a snort;
I get tight; food cache I spew.
I am not very good;
I blight my neighborhood,
A Cro Magnon. . .slight food chew.

Though I can relate to beer,
I demand Everclear
And I'll sift through salvaged lees.
If the beverage is ale,
I'll inhale it by the pail,
But I'll never, never sip CCs.

"What, never?"

No, never.

"What, never?"

Hardly ever.

He'll hardly ever sip CCs.
So, please give three beers, a quart of port
For the tight, stewed cad who gives the Pimm's a snort.
He'll swig three beers and gorge on port
Then get crapulous and pinch a snort.

That "dew" from Brest, it satiates yet gauls [sic].

If he knew, he'd rue contents.
It's like excreta, this shite,
Yet he drinks it every night;
That's why the jerk's crapulent.

Vat lavage they will use
To cleanse his craw of booze;
The gent's in the emergency
Room every other day,
Occasioned by café
Rigged with jiggers swigged. . .big DTs.

That ethyl?

No, methyl!

What, methyl?!

Nearly lethal.

Now I've figgered why I've got DTs!

So, please nix three beers and quarts of port
For the tight, stewed cad who gives the Pimm's a snort.
Renege on beer and quarts of port--
Force him cached in tank. . .can't pinch a snort.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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alvin - April 04, 2007 - Report this comment
crapulent is a great word

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