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Song Parodies -> "Nape Fan"

Original Song Title:

"Apeman"

Original Performer:

Kinks

Parody Song Title:

"Nape Fan"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I ain’t inebriated, swiggin’ blood ’stead o’ wine;
I’ve got a drool, hemo sippyin’.
I go out at night and bite and people are dyin’,
from undead canines rippin’ in.
And like me, they go out, and the veins they’re slittin’—
all are hematophagy fans.
We all lurk in the bowers, and we’re mighty thirsty,
a crave-the-nape clan.

Glug blood and we’re satiated; we were one time alive;
for sure we ain’t vegetarians.
We help decrease the population by sanguinary gustation.
It’s that tasty red we’re lickin’.
No one can feel safe when we are out to score;
right after we bite, they are livin’ no more.
We have to sleep by day after glomming gore—
a nap-during-day clan.

I’m a nape man, I’m a crave-nape man, I’m a nape fan.
I’m a drink-sang man, I’m a chew-you fan, I’ve got a nape plan.
I’m afraid of the sun that’s burning so bright—
must be in coffin by morning light.
But before that I will have many a bite…
biting the nape’s span.

In my devolution after I had been bitten,
I sought out a bloodlust luncheon.
Victims ain’t got a chance once on their necks my canines close
and into veins they’re punchin’.
Won’t eat a sandwich of ham and cheese,
but give me swiggin’ rounds of sanguine-lappin’, please!
Each night I’m on suckin’ spree,
a cleavin’-the-napes man.

I’m a nape fan, I’m a crave-nape fan, I’m a nape man.
I’m a drink-sang fan, I’m a chew-you man, I am a nape fan.
My victims I am winnowing late at night…
get absolution after every single bite.
I must be in coffin by morning light,
or have a sun-baked tan.

I’m a nape man, I’m a crave-nape man, I’m a nape fan.
I’m a drink-sang man, I’m a chew-you man, I’m a nape fan.


When I’m on a suck spree, I’ll take guys or girls.
I’m so happy lappin’ beneath braided curls.

I’ve a nape plan, I’m a crave-nape man, I’m a nape man.
I’m a drink-sang man, I’m a chew-you man, a cravin’-nape fan.
Necks I am carvin’, right into the vein.
The fluid’s warm; all of it I drain—
then later all day in my coffin I have lain,
dreaming a napes plan.

I’m a nape fan, I’m a crave-nape fan, I’m a nape man.
I’m a drink-sang man, I’m a chew-you fan, a cause-nape-gape man.
No one can feel safe when I am out to score;
but one night I don’t make it “home” by the morn.
Bright the orb peeps, so I cannot be reborn.
Fried by sun waked. Damn!!

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

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harry - July 24, 2024 - Report this comment
Excellent horror graphics. Well done

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