Hay fare or silage,
Would you like some new forked clippin's
Or a mouth-watering maize?

Either way you dine, there'll be drippin's:
Mooer poo
Dries there on my shined Florscheim shoe--
I'm wearin' two.

Hay fare or silage?
Either one makes tasty vittles
And makes three squares for a Holstein;
They're like to a kid his Skittles. . .
Go-for prize
You can have your choice; just feast your eyes,
No herbicide.

I'll be your server, that's me.
I see, your cud's chewed freely,
Also, I'm your maiztre d'.
The corn's sweet; the hay will please.
Give udders a squeeze.

Hay fare or silage?
A decision can be hard
But when you're feedin', girl,
I want you to think of me as the gar-
çon with the food.
I want to put you in the mood
For x-times chewed.

Hey there, a pile o'
Mangia maize or tasty hay?
Don't make much difference 'cause when you chew
In a ruminant way,
First down it falls
Into your gut then back up it crawls. . .
Four stomach walls.

(interventional interlude)

First, they try diplomacy,
Then there's the dispensary.
They'll give lots of shots to me;
Last ditch is lobotomy.

"A thousand milligrams to start;
Hope it don't strain this patient's heart,
But I just don't know what else that I can say--
This gent has startling psychosis.
He'll go out into the barn and bellow
To a cow 'bout the corn and hay.
Denial's what he's going through--
Thinks that he's a bovine stew-
ard. . .a delusional garçon of grain.
The man's insane.

"Stay-there asylum;
He should not be librium-free;
If he veers off, give him an ampule
That contains lot of lithium, quaalude.
Valium's just candy to this dude.
Crazed in asylum, swallows food--
Then up, rechewed."