Bunch of clowns in D.C. town
Take kickbacks when lobbyists are around,
Some snag a lagniappe, but others steal too much,
Sh*t hits the fan, they try to cover up.

CHORUS:
Whores in the USA (4x)

Then they start losin' their hometown fans
Who see the cash that's stuffed in their fat hands,
Pols give 'em a song and dance,
Exemplifying O'Rourke's* rants.

CHORUS

Spouses drip with diamond finery
Or get hired in a cushy consultancy.
Nearly every one's got a greased hand. . .
A legislative bandit band.

CHORUS

For these factotums, a race on
To shed swag from Abramoff.
The feds will take Jack off
To jail while his pale paid-off hacks scoff.
Some nailed when their benefactor spouts off.

CHORUS

Some a**holes may end up in the penitentiary
If the proceedings are evidentiary.
Before long, more swag toads
Will get elected, haul in more bagloads.

CHORUS


*P.J. O'Rourke, author of the antigovernment diatribe "Parliament of Whores," Vintage Books, 1992.