TYRO: Again, I’m baffled. What is she talking about? What is Caparray?

SULLEN: It’s a blended word. Actually, it’s two blended words. capital—with al—and disarray; and capitol—with ol—and disarray. Caparray.

TYRO: Oh. But is she suggesting that Washington and Congress are not functioning smoothly?

SULLEN (rolls eyes once again): Well’s done in, bien’s doomed…hell, son! She’s not SUGGESTING anything.

TYRO (indignantly): Well, I don’t agree.

SULLEN: Understandable. You just got here. Wait till you’ve been around a while. You’ll go from Boy Scout to buoyed slut.

TYRO: That’s not very nice.

SULLEN: You’re catching on, dude! (Sings)


“Caparray”
(Parody of “Cabaret”)

What good can come from these goons and these loons?
Come hear the douchebags bray.
This is the Caparray of bums,
bums in the Caparray.
Full of bullsh!tting and crooks who will doom
us all to a rotten day.
This is the Caparray of bums,
bums in the Caparray.
Come hear the whines,
hear the grandstands—
a bunch of whores not cerebrating…
CSPAN verbal masturbating.
For ill-got profits you’ll have to make room
on lobbyist payday.
This is the Caparray of sums,
sums when the fats cats pay.

With lobbyist pals you can take a selfie,
after they’ve made you very, very wealthy.
You’ll become hungy, hungrier for power,
as you smirk off up in your ivory tower.
You might grab a page and pull down his/her knickers
or engage in behavior even sicker.
But that gets in the way of grabbing green.
You’re in the dictionary under “obscene.”
You’ll be getting wealthier by the day;
you’re banking millions on Congressional pay.

Sluthood will be for you a financial boon,
here where it’s pay to play—
slime in the Caparray of bums,
sluts in the Caparray.

You’re gonna be, yeah,
you’re gonna be
in state of mind, quite far from healthy,
but you’ll mine for swag and be wealthy.

Start by admitting that you’ll be a goon
who’ll shirk work just for play-
time in the Caparray of bums;
wealth grows in the Caparray of sluts.
You’ll just love the Caparray.

(Blackout)