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Song Parodies -> "Chandler Drinkin' Gin"

Original Song Title:

"Candle in the Wind"

Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Chandler Drinkin' Gin"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Geographic license: Marseilles is just south of the Côtes du Rhône wine region in France.
He's dry--more Jim Beam
Is what he'd like in a highball.
He gazes at his liquor shelf,
And he's truly appalled.
There's nothing aged in wood casks;
There's just juniper-infused grain
Alcohol from a gin mill,
And it simply ain't the same.

Oh well, it'll just have to suffice.
He's a chandler drinkin' gin.
Doesn't know whom he will drink to
When he pours it in.
He's a guy who really knows his booze. . .
Been guzzlin' since a kid.
He churns candles out by the score,
But when they burn, they drip.

Stoned, he lights 'em up;
It looks like a fireworks display
Like the firmament filled with shining stars,
Or a tallow Milky Way.
Too much wax alight,
And the gin's like rocket fuel.
Then the paper fans the flames.
The place is burning like a fiery Yule.

Goodbye, no more gin!
It not only tastes, but acts like acetone.
The fire was beautifully pyrotechnical. . .
Now he's a Marseilles-vin man, Rhône.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I was hoping this was about Matthew Perry. As anyone who watched "Friends" knows, Chandler could not hold his liquor.
alvin rhodes - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
interesting concept...5s
John Barry - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, MIchael (why don't you do a Chandler Perrody?), Alvin.
john ulvang - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh my gawd!! the pacing's obviously drunken and funnier than hell. I gotta get drunk and record this one. would it be allright? I drink scotch, tho. is that ok? SO freakin' funny. Are you kidding me? I don't get the 4 voters here. fiveys on funny and fivings on freakin pacing and fivels on overalls. Stoppit, you're killing me!
John Barry - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Glad you liked it, John, thanks! Feel free to record. And have a Scotch for me.
Paul Robinson - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Gin like "Rocket Fuel", eh? Maybe another Elton John parody in there for someone...meanwhile, 5's for you, JB ~ ~ ~
AFW - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I'll drink a toast to this...five times
Rick C - August 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Pleasantly paced and poetic....555
Michael Pacholek - August 09, 2005 - Report this comment
John B: I tried to get all six of them with one shot:

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