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Song Parodies -> "The Mothball Fleet, So Long Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Major General's Song"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"The Mothball Fleet, So Long Song"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

There was a fleet once mothballed in a hot spot that is nautical;
Blighted boats packed tight in a bight; placement was quite methodical.
The Navy there nicely arrayed them, but thoughts were not logical…
Ships subject to neglect and vexed by meteorological

Conditions that would over time hit all these ships historical;
The damage done went on and on, and it was categorical.
Then bad and sad was it for shad when conveyed was some rotten news:
The ships were dropping toxic gobs into water and rottin’ sloughs.

Dreck unabated till folks said, “Let’s remedy these toxic sloughs.”

Those ghost ships bled shitloads of lead that sloughed off in a toxic crust;
Beyond the lead also was shed at least a ton of asbestos.
Although location of the boats had been very methodical,
Placing these tainted vessels for so long was not so logical.

The dreck that dropped unchecked had consequenes ecological.

Although these ships were history, nonetheless it was there they docked.
When it’s revealed, off poison peeled, most news-readers were fairly shocked.
Over the years Ma Nature’s “tears” rained down until the rust unstuck,
In parlance that’s unfit for parlors: It’s a major clusterf**k.

So what to do as in the slough these rusted wrecks are droppin’ these
Toxics apace, it’s a disgrace; the Bay-savers plead, “Stop it. Please!”
They fear the shit sloughed from these ships will begin to wash into shore.
The time had passed for Navy brass to pass off rash of spin galore.

The time had passed for brass to pass of pat batches of spin galore.

So finally they had to be truthful, the men in uniform;
Their perfidy now all could see, and so a plan that’s new was born.
The naughtiness would evanesce; it was time for the nautical
Nonsense to end; Navy would send ships to drydocks they oughta fill.

Studies had showed ships could be towed away and then be travelin’
To drydocks where none’d be repaired; regulated unravelin’
Could start; the paint and other taints could be scraped carefully, and that
Would yield clean steel that had appeal, because recycling’s where it’s at.

These boats once played a role in providing transport and gunnery.
They’ll be reborn in a new form: Perhaps cruise ships they’re gonna be.
Floating resorts with lots of sports is just what are these craft at sea.
Some take a cruise and catch the views; there is much from such craft to see.

But some folks drink too much and slink out back, A.K.A “aft,” and pee.

So, very soon in the lagoon, no more will we these vessels see.
So to recap: First they’ll be scrap, but after, they’ll new vessels be.
The fleet that was once mothballed in a hot spot that is nautical
May someday convey you to places hot a lot and tropical.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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2Eagle - April 04, 2018 - Report this comment
Next they turn into cruise ships with toilets that don't work - Life of Poo.

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