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Song Parodies -> "Malpaso"

Original Song Title:

"El Paso"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Marty Robbins

Parody Song Title:

"Malpaso"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

According to “The Biography Channel”: The name Malpaso is derived from a creek south of Carmel, California, where Clint Eastwood has spent much of his life. The name “Malpaso” is Spanish for “bad pass” or “bad step.” When Eastwood agreed to take the role of the Man with No Name, his agent told him that it would be a “bad step” for his career. After the Dollars Trilogy made it big and Eastwood decided to run his own production company, he thought “Malpaso” would be an appropriately ironic choice.
“Outlaw”[1] director renowned chose “Malpaso”
For his company name. . .Mexican word.
Why did he chose it? might be your pregunta;[2]
Name don’t suggest movement free as a bird.

Also you might ask, what could be the punta[3]
Of such a term that does not augur well?
With connotations negative it’s laden.
Gather round now and the story I’ll tell.

When young, a cowboy series he’s in—
“Rawhide”—that’s where it begins.
Dashing and daring
Was he, the show airing
For six years, in front o’
That Leone stuff.

So then after, guy
Challenged the man who then worked as his agent,
Who thought he had all the answers and swore
That his career could be finished in a heartbeat
If poncho and the pan’s[4] gross stubble he wore.

The actor stared at him with stony silence;
Later on, that his trademark would become.
He riposted to his agent, “I’ll go there,
With Sergio.” Agent: “OK, be dumb!

“Ouch! It’s a ‘bad step,’ it’s no good, this plan!”
Again this horse’s ass cried.
Turned out, ’twas he dumb;
The actor sought freedom,
So off to the Spanish desert he hied.

Just as fast as he
Could from this dreck feckless clown—then ¿qué pasó?
Three flicks as man with a name no one knows.

Lacked, his pal graso[5], insight; he was worthless—
The actor had the foresight, and he left.
His career vaulted, with bucks his purse laden;
Had he listened. . .of fame, fortune bereft?

He saddled up, made a fistful of dough,
Riding high, getting high marks
From the critics for westerns of spaghetti
That his agent had once passed off as mere larks.

The actor sneers, wry:
“I think I’ll call my company Malpaso.
It’s tinged with irony—that I do know.
My gumption’s strong, and it pushes me onward.”
Let’s hypothesize about agent schmoe:

He’d not been right when he’d counseled ’gainst cowboy
Pictures, post-which Clint then made dozens more.
Shouting and shooting, an auteur became he;
Adulation he accrued by the score.

But things went dreadfully wrong for the heel
Whom Clint had spurned to go and ride.
He’d found good tidings; the agent was addled
And became teary; Clint he can’t abide.

He stays drunk for
Days into nights, and frequently he’s fallen,
Boozy and beery, off stools to his chest.
Many White Russians had caused him to rifle
Through his wife’s earning till she spurned the pest.

His work went nowhere, but Clint’s up was bounding. . .
Kissed off the dweeb who’d not stood by his side.
The agent then toppled off of his high horse
When he was blitzed, and from the fall he died.


[1]“The Outlaw Josey Wales”
[2]question
[3]point
[4]face
[5]greasy




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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

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Patrick - November 03, 2010 - Report this comment
A couple months ago, one of our local channels ran "Outlaw Josey Wales" every night for several weeks. Unfortunately they left out the closing theme music, which is one of the best parts of the film. Clint carries two original Colt Walker revolvers (very rare). One of the two was also used in the John Wayne movie, "True Grit". I got to touch it at a Kansas City gun show last year.
MadameDeRaunchy - November 03, 2010 - Report this comment
CaptainJack de Barrel, the Duke oNosh & Neigh, this is quite a tale indeed, Sir ! Can you pen one about 'CowboyDave', the Jolly Rancher ? ?
Andy Primus - November 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job - LOL @ fistful of dough
The Turtle With No Name - November 03, 2010 - Report this comment
The Good: what Andy said, sneaking in ref to first plate of spaghetti.
The Bad (not really): then expected refs to "A Few Dollars More" and to "Good/Bad/Ugly". Would have been a nice touch.
The Ugly:

(There was no Ugly.)
*Masterful* bio worthy of its subject. ... Did I vote you six points, or only five? Well, you just gotta ask yourself: Do I feel skillful today?" (yes.)
John Jenkins - November 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Good stuff, TT. Excellent title and very good substitions throughout, particularly feckless for Texas. I also like the clever way that you did not substitute for "shouting and shooting." But my sources tell me that pan is the Spanish word for bread, and the Spanish word for face is cara.
TT @ John Jenkins - November 03, 2010 - Report this comment
I didn't write this song; John A. Barry did.
But I agree on the minor glitch there.
TJC - November 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Clintastic construction, John-- You've convinced me to 'go East young man!'

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